Sure, it’s a paycheck, and that can be a helpful safety net while you’re trying to grow your own business. But it’s often little more than that. You slog through it, biding your time until you can focus on your “real” work and resenting the hours you have to spend in cubeland.

But just because the job that pays the bills isn’t your dream career, that doesn’t mean you can’t still learn a ton from it that will help you once you strike out on your own.

Three years after starting my side hustle, and nine months after quitting my day job to pursue it full-time, I’m still finding ways my time in corporate America set me up to be a better business person. It’s actually perversely rewarding, knowing that the job I hated so much helped prepare me to successfully leave it and go off on my on.

So, before you turn your brain off and coast through those hours at the office, keep an eye out for these skills you can learn in a traditional job that translate well to being your own boss: (Click here to tweet this list.)

Professional etiquette

As a paralegal, I got a thorough course in how to navigate the business world professionally and politely by choosing my words (and my tone) wisely.

The tact and patience I learned dealing with angry divorce petitioners comes in handy now when I need to explain to a staff writer why their post needs serious revision. The respectful-yet-firm tone I learned to use in letters to opposing counsel enables me to deal with a client payment issue or contract disagreements in a way that covers my ass without alienating the other party.

Even if you hate serving coffee with a smile or addressing troublesome managers respectfully, the harsh truth is, you will still need to handle yourself with decorum when you’re your own boss. Learning how to play the corporate etiquette game, while it may not be your favorite thing, can teach you some key tricks to grease the wheels, smooth over difficulties and be the bigger person in any situation.

Energy management

If you really pay attention to your body, you’ll notice that throughout the day, you have a number of energy ebbs and flows — times when you’re naturally more alert and energetic (or sluggish and dull). We all do. (Does the “3:00 slump” ring a bell?)

The secret to boosting your productivity lies not in time management so much as in energy management. And when you set your own hours, knowing your body’s natural rhythms is especially important, because it helps you use those hours to the max.

As you go about your day job, start noticing what times of day you’re at your best. Do you get twice as much work done in the mornings as you do after lunch? Are you useless until your coffee starts to kick in, somewhere around 10 a.m.? Once you recognize when your peak energy levels hit, you can learn to use those times for more challenging and complex tasks and save the mindless stuff (like filing or invoicing) for your down times.

How (and how not) to be a boss

When you’re out on your own, you’ll be in charge of everything, from wooing clients to coming up with marketing strategies. You may even wind up scaling your business to include employees of your own one day. So now’s the time to learn by example how (and how not) to manage a business.

Watch what your boss does well, as well as the things he does horribly, and take notes. How can you imitate that confidence he exudes in meetings, even when you know full well that his schedule’s double-booked and several deliverables are behind schedule? How can you avoid the unnecessary hassle she causes everyone by giving unclear instructions to team members?

Some higher-ups make it to where they are because they’re really good at what they do. Others make it for less-admirable reasons, and being in a top position just exposes what they’re really made of. Whichever boss you’ve got, you can learn a lot from observing them in action.

How to get through a case of the Mondays

Even when you’re doing work you love, it’s still work. And there will be plenty of times when you can think of a million other things you’d rather be doing.

When you work for yourself, this becomes dangerous because technically, you can slack off without getting in any immediate trouble. But the long-term repercussions will be that, just like at any job, the work will have to get done eventually. You can save yourself some late nights and tedious weekends by learning how to park your butt in your desk chair, even when you really, really don’t feel like it.

Chances are you’ve developed plenty of coping mechanisms while working at your day job. Maybe you treat yourself to a fancy cup of coffee when you know you’ve got an awful project ahead of you. Maybe you play the “if I do X, I can have Y” game. Maybe you’ve created a Pandora station solely for those Monday mornings you’d rather stab yourself in the eye than be at work. Whatever methods you use to get through the tough spots in the office can work just as well when you’re facing the choice of tackling a tricky project or watching another season of Mad Men on Netflix.

Entrepreneurs, what other lessons did you learn at traditional jobs that help you now?

Kelly Gurnett is Assistant Editor of Brazen Life and runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook and hire her services as a blogger extraordinaire here.

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The post How Your Terrible Day Job Can Help You Become a Better Entrepreneur appeared first on Brazen Life.

But he’s also one hell of a businessman.

Note: If you aren’t currently caught up with your Breaking Bad episodes, you may want to come back to this post after you are to avoid any potential spoilers. If you are caught up, and you’re eagerly awaiting the series’ final two episodes like 5.9 million other fans, let’s indulge our mutual obsession by exploring yet another way to dissect this endlessly intriguing show.

While I’m not suggesting a life of crime is the way to go, there are some things we can learn from the man known as Heisenberg when it comes to blazing our own trails and pursuing our goals with unstoppable determination. (Click here to tweet this idea.)

Here are four of the big (legally and ethically acceptable) lessons we can learn from Mr. White — and one warning we’d be wise to heed.

1. It all starts with quality

There wouldn’t have been a show if Jesse and Walt’s early days in the RV had resulted in only mediocre product.

Would they have made some money? Sure. Would international drug cartels and super meth lords like Gus Fring be desperate to get their hands on that product (and its creator)? Nope.

Walt would have just been some middle-aged chemistry teacher cooking drugs in his skivvies in the middle of the desert. His rise to mythological levels of power and notoriety started off with the one thing all wannabe entrepreneurs have to have: a solid, high-quality product. Walt’s meth was the purest in the marketplace, and his customers (and competition) recognized that — and that’s what gave him the leverage to build an empire from nothing.

Would-be business mavens, take note: unless your product or service is top-notch, all the advertising strategies and killer branding in the world won’t take you very far. It all begins with offering something consumers or clients can’t get enough of.

2. Brand matters

“The blue stuff” is Heisenberg’s trademark. It’s how you know instantly that you’re getting the best. When Walt leaves the biz behind, new meth lord Lydia insists that substitute cook Todd figure out how to replicate the trademark color, because that’s what people on the street are asking for. She isn’t nearly as concerned with the purity level of the new batch as she is with making sure their product retains brand consistency. It’s so critical it’s saved Jesse’s life (for now).

After you’ve got that top-notch service or product, you need to find a way to differentiate yourself in the marketplace — whether it’s a look, a feel or a certain brand personality. When you see an Apple product, you know it’s an Apple product. From the sleek design to the packaging, you can tell it apart from every other gadget vying for similar market share.

So, what’s your “calling card” going to be? What will let consumers know you’re different, and how will they be able to spot your “stuff” from the competition’s?

3. You are who you say you are

Walt first dubs himself “Heisenberg” in the episode where he shaves his head, confronts local drug lord Tuco and makes it clear (via surprise explosive device) that he isn’t to be messed with. It’s one of the first times we see Walt fully embrace his darker ambitions — he’s not just doing this for his family; part of him loves the power and fame, and he’s officially declaring his pursuit of that. As the debris settles, we as an audience know that he’s rounded a corner, and the streets of Albuquerque know there’s a new kingpin in town.

Whether you’re a meek chemistry teacher, an entry-level clerk or a college dropout turned startup owner, you create your own destiny by acknowledging your goals and going after them full-throttle. It doesn’t matter if the world doesn’t take you seriously at first; they will once you show them what you’re made of. Believe in the potential within yourself, act like you’ve already made it, and the world will start to respect.

4. There’s always a way out

Cops impound your car containing a laptop full of incriminating evidence? Get a gigantic magnet, b****, and erase that evidence in a way no one will believe actually happened. Kidnapped in the desert for days and not sure how to explain your absence to your family? Strip naked in a convenience store and pretend you’ve been in a cancer-induced fugue state the whole time.

The lengths to which Walt will go — and his utter refusal to believe he’s ever painted into a corner — are pretty damn impressive, and one of the reasons fans admire his ingenuity, even as they denounce his actions. He will not be stopped. He will not be beaten. While each cliffhanger episode leaves you full of dread and anticipation, you always secretly know that somehow, Walt will find a way out of it.

No matter what challenges, setbacks, or failures you face in your professional career, you have two possible solutions: lose hope and give up, or put on your thinking cap and figure out a way to tunnel yourself free, in whatever way possible. Nothing is ever truly hopeless if you’re determined enough. Never underestimate the power of creativity and resolve.

5. Know what you’re doing it all for

And now, for the warning.

Walt got involved in the whole meth scene out of a desire to provide for his family after his cancer diagnosis. As the series progressed, we’ve watched him devolve into a creature driven by greed, ego and a thirst for power. But he still seemed to have soft spots — for his kids (definitely), for Jesse (sometimes), for his wife Skylar (maybe?). It was one of the things that kept people rooting for him long after he’d clearly gone from hero to anti-hero.

Now that the show is winding down, the big question in everyone’s mind has been: Which Walt will be left when the smoke clears? Does he have any humanity left, or has Heisenberg taken over completely?

The most recent episode seems to lean towards the latter, but you never can tell with Walt. His motives have become so muddied he’d give up his entire fortune to save the brother-in-law who could turn him in — yet he has no qualms about kidnapping his infant daughter to “teach his wife a lesson.”

Walt’s two competing drives (and selves) are ultimately what’s done him in. Trying to walk the impossible line between taking care of his family and looking out for number one, he now stands to lose everything he fought for. One self is suffering for the other self’s choices. Wherever he’s going in that beat-up minivan, it’s not to celebrate his grand victory.

Don’t let an internal tug of war derail your own happiness. When it comes to your career, you need to be able to sit down with yourself and honestly identify why you’re pursuing what you’re pursuing.

Regardless of what everyone else expects of you, regardless of what you think you “should” be doing, what’s your real driving force? If you’re not clear on that, or you’re chasing something else but pretending you’re clear on it, even the most “successful” of careers won’t ultimately make you happy.

It’s your choice. Which way are you going to break?

Kelly Gurnett is Assistant Editor of Brazen Life and runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook and hire her services as a blogger extraordinaire here.

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The post Brazen Career Lessons from Breaking Bad appeared first on Brazen Life.

In yet another entry into the “here are some numbers about GenY!” category, Washington Post columnist Jena McGregor recently studied the results of a survey by Beyond.com on how much it costs to replace a Millennial employee.

The findings? Between $15,000 and $25,000.

The importance of these findings? Employers worry about Millennials’ job-hopping tendencies, and… well… that’s about it.

Numbers, numbers everywhere…

As the author herself admits:

The study does not compare and contrast replacement costs for millennials versus, say, baby boomers. It would have been more revealing if it had.

In other words, we’ve got more numbers on GenY, and little context with which to analyze them.

Every time a Millennial needs to be replaced, it costs between $15,000 and $25,000. Fair enough. But is that for positions where Baby Boomers are being paid $15,000 flat? In other words, are these young upstarts demanding more for doing the same work that older employees are doing? (They are quite entitled, you know.) Or would it cost $15,000 to $25,000 to replace anyone in these same positions?

The study’s key finding that’s supposed to shock us isn’t quite so shocking with nothing to compare it to.

As for companies’ main concern with having to replace Millennials? The article states that those ever-job-hopping GenYers tend to jump ship every two years—compared to five years for GenXers and seven for Baby Boomers—but what does that mean in the grand scheme of a company’s expenses? Workers who stick around longer are likely to demand things like raises after a while, while bringing in a fresh supply of Millennials every two years means you could theoretically keep that position at starting salary indefinitely.

I’m playing devil’s advocate here, but for a reason.

Let’s focus on what really matters

Instead of asking how much Millennials are costing employers, why don’t we take a look at how much they’re earning them?

Even if young workers are demanding a higher price in today’s job market, they also bring traits and skills to the office that older workers might not, including drive and passion, an innovative way of approaching stale problems, and increased efficiency and adaptability due to their oft-maligned tendency to always be “plugged in.” If we’re going to run a useful cost-benefit analysis, then let’s also consider the benefits.

You can do as many studies as you like on GenY, but when we’re talking about a company’s day-to-day bottom line, it comes down to one simple fact: Performance, skills and results are the only Millennial stats worth measuring.

All the rest? It’s just numbers.

Kelly Gurnett is Assistant Editor of Brazen Life and runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook and hire her services as a blogger extraordinaire here.

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The post Now We Know What It Costs to Employ GenY… So What? appeared first on Brazen Life.

The question is: How do you make the climb without alienating everyone around you in the process?

Unfortunately, “ambition” can sometimes be seen as a dirty word, thanks to those people who’ve pursued their own by walking over others, bending the rules and generally exercising questionable tactics. But it doesn’t have to be this way. As a matter of fact, it shouldn’t.

It is possible to make your way up the chain of command without branding yourself as the office jerk—and it’s far better for your career and reputation. Here are some cardinal rules to keep in mind:

Be a rockstar—humbly and graciously

You want to stand out as someone who goes above and beyond, who can be counted on to handle any situation and exceed any expectation with the aplomb of Superman-straight-out-the-phone-booth. But you also don’t want to come across as cocky or self-centered. (If Superman had set Lois Lane down on the ground and said “Rescued you again! How awesome am I?” you can bet the romantic triangle would not be part of the plotline.)

No one wants to promote a narcissist. While an aura of confidence and can-do-ism can take you far, be careful not to dial it up so high you risk coming across as arrogant. If you do good work consistently, your reputation will precede you without the need for fanfare on your part.

Be a little selfish—but also a team player

In some aspects of your career, like salary and benefit negotiation, it’s advisable to be a little selfish. People who keep to themselves and wait for their ship to come in rarely find that it does, while those who swim out to the ship (with a proposal or great new idea in hand) often find themselves setting sail for new waters.

That said, it’s important to be a part of the team while still looking out for number one. Things you should not be selfish about include lending your time to colleagues who are under the gun, staying late if needed to push a big project through and singing “Happy Birthday” to Debbie along with everyone else in the break room, even if you have no idea who Debbie is.

No one works in a vacuum. While it’s true your career success depends largely on your performance, part of that performance stems from how well you play with others. If you’re not willing to pitch in, collaborate and be a team player, it will reflect badly on you as an employee.

Speaking of which…

No backstabbing, under-the-bus-throwing or other forms of colleague sabotage

This should go without saying for Brazen readers; you’re a more integrity-oriented group than to consider any of these actions. But, ambition can make you do stupid things sometimes—and advancing yourself at the cost of another is one of the stupidest things you can do.

Not only does it brand you a horrible person; it also burns bridges you may need to have intact down the line. That intern whose work you took credit for may one day be your executive assistant—and do you really your coffee delivered by someone with a vendetta against you? That colleague you blamed your bad numbers on could one day surpass you on the ladder or wind up as your fellow board member, and you could find yourself working with (or for!) someone who doesn’t trust or like you—personally or professionally.

You know you’re better than that. If you’ve got the skills and the work ethic needed to get ahead, stealth and sabotage are wholly unnecessary. DVR a few episodes of Desperate Housewives to get your drama fix, and keep your head high.

Absolutely no sucking up

Nobody likes a suck-up—colleagues and bosses included.

That’s right; you may think that flattering and fawning over your superiors will earn you brownie points, but in most cases, it just makes you look bad. Brown-nosers give off the impression they’re trying to compensate for something (lack of skills, perhaps?), and that air of desperation and self-doubt does not bode well for a promotion. It also puts you in a position of subservience, which is never how you want to be perceived if you’re aiming for higher positions.

If you want to make favorable connections with your officemates (and connections can certainly help a ladder climb), try healthy networking alternatives like taking a colleague out to lunch or asking the boss how his family is doing. Being friendly, genuine and interested earns far more brownie points than telling your boss for the millionth time that her hair looks fantastic today.

Kelly Gurnett is Assistant Editor of Brazen Life and runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook and hire her services as a blogger extraordinaire here.

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The post How to Move Up the Career Ladder Without Being a Brown-Noser appeared first on Brazen Life.

Every career could use a good decluttering now and then. Here are some of the major areas to focus on when clearing out the cobwebs:

1. Clean up your social media profiles

You’re all smart cookies, so I (hopefully) don’t need to remind you to keep your Twitter and Facebook profiles squeaky clean (or set on private) to avoid potential professional embarrassments. But keeping your social media presence tidy is about more than just removing those happy hour pics from your public feed; it’s also about making sure your information is current and relevant.

• Review your LinkedIn profile to make sure you haven’t acquired any new positions or skills that should be added—and that there isn’t any outdated information that needs to be removed.
• Have you made any new business acquaintances lately? Make sure you’ve hooked up with them via LinkedIn, Google+, Twitter, etc. Social media is a great networking tool, so make sure your network isn’t missing anyone important.
• Make sure your profile pics are professional—and consistent. A big part of personal branding is being easily recognizable across all social platforms. Pick a photo that’s classy but also shows your personality, then use it for all of your profiles. Attaching it to your main email via Gravatar will allow that pic to show up whenever you comment on sites or forums as well.

2. Refresh your resume

Even if you’re not actively looking for a job right now, you could be in the future, and it’s a pain to go through a five-year-old resume and revamp everything in one sitting. So, periodically review your resume to make sure the information is up-to-date. If your dream job suddenly asks you to apply, would you be ready for it?

• If you have a strong online presence (a website, blog, portfolio, etc.), consider adding hyperlinks to your resume so employers can check out more on you without your having to include a ton of information on the resume itself. (Short and sweet is best.)
• Clean up the organizational scheme to make it easier to read. That font explosion you thought was a nifty way to organize isn’t. Bullets, white space and simplicity are in.
• Make sure your references are up-to-date. A quick check-in email to touch base with them (and remind them who you are) doesn’t hurt.

3. Streamline your systems

Making your days easier and more productive will make you a more valuable employee—and give you more energy and time to focus on your overarching career goals.

• Keep on top of the latest in to-do apps, sites and other technological tools that can make everything from project management to scheduling infinitely easier.
• Remember the 80/20 rule: 80 percent of your key results come from only 20 percent of your regular tasks. So focus on that 20 percent and weed out some of the rest.
• Learn when your most productive times of day are, and try to structure your projects accordingly. Energy management works wonders by tapping into your natural rhythms and using them to the fullest.
• For the love of everything, get an email system in place. Email overload is one of the biggest causes of workday overwhelm, and it doesn’t have to be. Tame the beast by instituting a system that gets you as close to inbox zero on a regular basis as possible—and then stick with it.

4. Spiff up your workspace

Whether you work from home or from a cube, your physical space plays an important role in how efficient you are and what kind of mood you’re in. If you have a workspace that’s organized, open and inviting, you’ll start off each day on a better foot.

• Catch up on that filing pile—then make a note on your calendar to tackle it every week from this point forward. I know, it’s ridiculously un-fun, but hunting through a towering pile of receipts for that one disbursement you need from two months ago is even un-funner.
• Invest in comfortable furniture and accessories. Aches, pains and repetitive stress injuries never helped anyone work better. Make sure your chair and desk height promote healthy posture, and if they don’t, invest in either a new chair or accessories like a footrest or backrest. Spring for a nice ergonomic keyboard and mouse. Make sure that lighting is bright enough to keep you focused, but not so bright it induces migraines.
• Make it yours. Whether it’s pictures of loved ones, quirky accessories or a miniature Zen rock garden to keep stress at bay, make sure the place where you spend most of your waking hours is a reflection of the things that make you happy and keep you sane.

5. Touch base with your network

Your network is only as valuable as the time you put into it. Just as your Facebook account needs a good “un-friending” sweep every year or so, go through your network and make sure you’re regularly keeping in touch with the people you hope will someday assist your career. If you only reach out to your network when you need something, they’re not likely to be horribly receptive.

• Send out a quick email with some updates on what you’ve been up to, and ask about what’s been going on at their end. Keep it friendly, breezy and non-salesy.
• Arrange for a coffee chat to catch up. (Coffee’s on you, of course.)
• Make a note on your calendar to re-connect after a set amount of time to keep the relationship fresh.

6. Review and reevaluate your goals

In the grand scheme of your career game plan, how are you doing? Are you where you thought you’d be five years ago? Are you taking the steps you need to get to where you want to be five years from now? What steps are those?

It’s easy to get caught up in the daily minutiae of just getting your job done, but don’t forget to tend to your long-term goals, too.

If you’re not where you want to be, figure out some action steps you can take to change that, and mark them down on your to-do list along with your regular daily projects. If you are, brainstorm ways to keep that momentum going, and set deadlines for those steps. In the end, the most organized career in the world won’t do much for you if you’re not heading in the right direction.

Kelly Gurnett is Assistant Editor of Brazen Life and runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook and hire her services as a blogger extraordinaire here.

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The post Don’t Let Your Career Get Stale: 6 Ways to Refresh and Recharge appeared first on Brazen Life.

You’re not just a careerist; you’re a Brazen careerist. You want the inside scoop. The secrets that got the truly, brazenly successful people where they are today.

Well, we’ve got them for you—the things that only career superstars know. We’re sharing them with you only because we know you can handle them.

(You can handle them, can’t you?)

Secret #1: No one knows what they’re doing all the time

Whether you’re joining the office ranks at entry level, starting a new career, or taking on your first management position, the thing no one wants to admit is that everyone has those moments where they wonder if they’ve really got what it takes. What sets the winners apart from the losers is how you handle those doubts.

That coworker who seems so in control? She’s afraid people will see right through her and realize she’s actually flying by the seat of her pants. Your boss, who has the answer for everything, has times when he has no clue what he’s supposed to do and doubts whether he’s really management material after all.

No one is 100 percent sure of themselves at all times, from cube dwellers on up to the CEO’s office. A necessary part of growing and advancing is facing periods of uncertainty and discomfort—which keeps plenty of people smack in their comfort zones (where they’ll stay for years).

Successful people are willing to accept the fact that they won’t always know everything, to learn as they go and to exude confidence even when they don’t necessarily have it just yet. If you can go through the intimidating times with your cool calmly in place, you could be one of the few who manage to get from the cube to the CEO’s office.

Secret #2: “No one loves their job” is a load of crap

Yes, work will still be work, even if you’re doing work you love. There will be fires to put out and annoying people to deal with, and stress and deadlines don’t disappear just because you’ve found your dream job. But if you wake up every morning dreading the day ahead of you, something needs to change—and yesterday.

The prevalent attitude among your average worker is one of settling, and it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you see everyone around you trudging through miserable jobs, commiserating with each other in the break room but doing nothing to change things, it’s easy to assume that’s “just the way things are.” So, you join the break room grumblers, taking a twisted sort of pride in the fact that you’re bucking up and “dealing” like everyone else and reconcile yourself to the fact that you’re doing the best you can with bad circumstances.

But you’re not your “average worker,” remember? You’re Brazen. And a Brazenite cannot hear someone say “We’re all miserable; that’s just life” without a little steam coming out their ears.

Just because everyone else is jumping off the bridge (or, more accurately, sitting dejectedly on the edge bemoaning how stuck they are) doesn’t mean you have to. The thing successful careerists realize early on is that happiness in your career is totally within your power—in spite of the cultural delusion that says otherwise.

Secret #3: It’s okay to want more—lots more

When you realize that empowering fact—that you can love your job, that you have the power to create the career you want—the bridge-sitters will suddenly rear up with more energy than you ever thought they had in them.

They will call you crazy. They will call you selfish. They will respond to your grand plans with a “Wouldn’t that be nice?” that implies you’re both wildly out of touch with reality and trying to get away with something that’s completely unfair to the rest of us.

Don’t listen to them. There is nothing wrong with wanting to (gasp!) be happy in life. You are not acting high and mighty or shirking your fair share. If anything, you owe it to the naysayers to show them that more is possible. It’s up to them whether they decide to act on that or not.

Secret #4: Skill is overrated

Plenty of people have skill. If you’ve been in the job market for any period of time, you know it’s crammed with people who have skills and credentials up the wazoo.

But none of that really matters. Because hustle and persistence will win over plain skill every time.

That’s not to say that skills don’t matter. Try hustling your little tail off in a sales position when you have no salesmanship whatsoever, and you won’t go very far. But, when it comes down to you and the competition, decent skill and a whole lotta hustle will go farther than lots of skill and no effort, every time.

Take it from Will Smith, who transformed himself from ’90s hip hop jokester to one of the most respected actors in Hollywood. He said:

“The only thing that I see that is distinctly different about me is I’m not afraid to die on a treadmill. I will not be out-worked, period. You might have more talent than me, you might be smarter than me, you might be sexier than me, you might be all of those things; you got it on me in nine categories. But if we get on the treadmill together, there’s two things: You’re getting off first, or I’m going to die. It’s really that simple.”

Listen to The Fresh Prince. He knows what he’s talking about.

Secret #5: It can’t hurt to ask

You want a raise, a chance to work from home twice a week, a new freelance client? It may seem silly and super-obvious, but do you know what will set you apart from everyone else who wants the exact same thing? Asking for it.

Will you get what you ask for every time? Of course not. But you never know unless you try—and the truth is, most of the people around you are afraid of trying.

So you pitch that new client and they say they’re not interested—then you move on to the next one. Your boss says there’s no room in the budget for raises—then you revisit it in a year or so (or negotiate for other perks instead).

What’s important is that you’re willing to put yourself out there and go after what you want. Your success rate will vary, but it will be a heck of a lot better than the success rate of your cube mates who are still sitting around patiently waiting for their ships to come in. In the meantime, you’re showing people you’re an ambitious go-getter who’s willing to do what it takes to make things happen. You’d be surprised how many opportunities can come to you just by setting yourself apart as that kind of person.

Kelly Gurnett is Assistant Editor of Brazen Life and runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook and hire her services as a blogger extraordinaire here.

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The post The Best-Kept Career Secrets appeared first on Brazen Life.

Maybe you’re a people-pleaser and don’t like the idea of letting someone down. Maybe you’re trying to impress your boss/mother-in-law/frenemy and don’t want to sound like you can’t handle a certain responsibility. Maybe you were taught that it’s always best to be a team player and extend yourself for others, even if it’s a sacrifice.

You can forget that particular tidbit of etiquette right now.

While you certainly should pitch in and be helpful, successful people—the kind who achieve success without totally burning themselves out in the process—do so by knowing how to say no. You only have so many hours in the day and so much energy. It’s only reasonable that, when faced with multiple pressing obligations, you will have to turn some of them down. Otherwise, you’ll become a frazzled wreck, spread too thin to be of service to anyone (yourself included).

The key is in knowing how to say no politely, but firmly, in a way that doesn’t make you come across as a jerk. Memorize these handy little phrases for the next time you’re ambushed with a plea for your help:

1. “I’m currently working on the Smith report, the Jones report and the Macklemore report. How would you like me to prioritize this new project?”

This particular phrase is especially helpful when dealing with a superior, who you can’t very well “Just Say No” to. Instead, show your willingness to do the work but ask for an executive recommendation on how best to balance your various obligations.

If you’ve already got several projects in your queue, ask your boss which one takes priority so you can focus on that first. If you report to several managers and they’ve given you competing projects, ask them how they’d prefer you resolve the conflict. (One of them is going to have to cede to the other if they want you to give both projects your full attention.)

The trick to this phrase is not to say it huffily or with a “woe is me” attitude. You are not complaining about how overloaded you are and whining for a way out; you are being a responsible employee and making sure you do your job to the best of your ability (while also letting your boss(es) know just how much you have on your plate).

2. “I’m all booked until [insert date here]. I can put this on my list for then if you like.”

This phrase demonstrates a willingness to help—you’re not saying no altogether—while letting the other person know your schedule is firm and you’re sticking to it.

If their project is super, building-on-fire urgent, they’ll have to ask someone else (or maybe not leave things till the last minute next time).

3. “What exactly do you need done?” or “When is the hard deadline for this?”

If you’ve ever worked with…well, anyone else…you know that different people communicate in different ways. (And some people don’t necessarily communicate in the most effective ways.) Just because your boss is a high-strung micromanager, his stopping by your desk every hour to see how things are going doesn’t necessarily mean you’re racing against the clock.

As soon as you’re handed a project, make sure to get clear on exactly what’s expected of you: what steps are involved, how time-intensive will it be, when will you need to turn in the final product? Nebulous action steps or a sense of false urgency can make it hard for you to decide whether you even need to say no in the first place. Once you have a better grasp on the scope of a request, you can decide whether or not you can take it on—and under what terms.

4. “I need to check my calendar and get back to you.”

This can be useful when you find yourself cornered. Some people have a way of weaseling a “yes” out of you through sheer, dogged persistence. You pick up your extension to hear your coworker breathlessly mid-request before you know what’s hit you. Or your mother-in-law has a fantastic knack of countering every excuse you give for why you can’t host the family reunion for 100 relatives this summer.

Rather than trying to avoid a pushy person forever or playing the 20 excuses game (only to ultimately lose), just drop this simple phrase to put an end to the ambush. Saying you need to check your calendar (even if you secretly know your answer will be “no”) gives you a little room to breathe and escape the pressure of the moment. Then, from a safe distance, you can reply back (e-mail is a great way to avoid further attempts at persuasion) by saying, “I’m so sorry, but I’ve looked at my calendar, and I’m afraid I won’t be able to do it.”

Don’t offer any elaboration or excuses; all they need to know is that you can’t do it.

5. “I’m so sorry, but I can’t.”

Seems deceptively easy, doesn’t it? If only it were that simple, you’d have been using this one for a while now, right?

Not necessarily. This is actually the hardest of the phrases, and best used after you’ve built up your courage with the other ones. The trick to this seemingly way-too-easy defense is in the follow-up: there is no follow-up.

Most people aren’t used to taking a no-frills “no” for an answer. They’ll want to know why you can’t, if there’s any wiggle room, if they can’t convince you to change your mind once you know how special their particular circumstances are.

This is where you need to stand firm—and say as little as possible. You are the rock of Gibraltar. You make excuses to no one. You are (if the image helps) dealing with an overly inquisitive toddler who is trying to test your limits, and you’ll have none of it.

Why can’t you do it? Because you’ve got too much on your plate.

But it’s only a little favor, and you really owe them one… You’re very sorry, but as aforementioned, you can’t. You will owe them one another time.

But whyyyyyy? Because you said so. End of story.

Stated simply, firmly and politely, a simple “no” is unassailable. Repeated several times over, it will make the requester eventually get tired and move on to someone who’s an easier sell.

There is nothing wrong with saying no when you can’t take on something. While it’s important to be a team player and to stretch yourself when needed, you are under no obligation to run yourself into the ground trying to make everyone happy.

As a matter of fact, you owe it to your job, your coworkers, your family and everyone else you come in contact with (including you!) to manage your time smartly and not take on more than you can logically handle. Doing a million things half-assedly is not doing anyone a favor.

So, start practicing those phrases and putting them to use. You can do it!

Kelly Gurnett is Assistant Editor of Brazen Life and runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook and hire her services as a blogger extraordinaire here.

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The post 5 Ways to Say No Without Making People Hate You appeared first on Brazen Life.

When I first started at the firm I work for now (as a lowly clerk), my jobs included super-simple, mindless tasks like typing in long legal agreements and organizing files. Being the eager-to-please (and easily bored) person I am, I did them to the best of my ability—accurately and quickly—so that I could tackle to the next thing waiting for me.

The response I continually got, as I handed in my completed work? “Wow, that was fast!”

At face value, this is a nice compliment to receive. But the way it was said perplexed me. Why were people so surprised? Were other workers taking much longer to do these tasks—and if so, did that mean I was missing some obvious step? The projects had seemed pretty straightforward to me. Did my bosses think I’d sped through the work to get it over with, probably making a ton of mistakes?

Would it look better if I worked slower?

Instead of being flattering, this reaction was extremely frustrating—like handing in a school project you spent all weekend perfecting, only to have your teacher say, “This looks a little too good, Jimmy. Are you sure your mom didn’t help with some of this?”

The longer I’ve been in the rat race, however, I’ve come to realize how to really parse the “That was fast!” reaction:

When you measure work by butt-in-chair time, workers will play the butt-in-chair game

In a typical 9-to-5 office environment, where everyone is doing similar tasks and has similar quotas to meet for the day, working too efficiently can backfire on you. You’re paid to sit at that desk for 8 hours, and if you do your work too fast, you’re either stuck trying to look busy or you’re given extra work to help out your less efficient coworkers. (Which hardly feels like a reward for a job well done.)

The havoc this plays on employee motivation and morale is profound.

I remember working as a telephone survey girl in high school. (Yes, people really still do that. I hated it, but it paid too well to pass up.) We had a certain amount of phone numbers on our call list each night, and everyone on that shift worked with the same pool of numbers. If it was a bad night and we weren’t getting many respondents to go through surveys—just a series of answering machines and no answers—there was a good chance the numbers would eventually run out. If we were lucky, we’d wait 10-15 minutes and a new pool would be released. If we weren’t, and we ran through them too fast, we’d be sent home for the night—losing any pay we would have gotten if we’d finished our shifts.

Most of us learned pretty quickly to dial each number as sloooowly as we possibly could, to take nice long pauses between numbers to make meticulous notes in our file, to listen all the way through an answering machine message until the beep instead of hanging up as soon as the message started. We were being paid for the time we spent with our headsets on, so we learned how to stretch the work out to fill that time.

This was an hourly position, but unfortunately, things don’t change much when you reach salaried status. If you’re expected to be in the office from 9:00 to 5:00, and it’s a slow work day, you will find ways to fill your time to keep that butt in that chair—whether it’s browsing Facebook or begrudgingly taking on extra work, secretly hating Sheila all the while for moving so slowly you have to pick up her slack.

The result? Employers wind up paying employees to do busy work and drag their projects out as long as possible, instead of paying them to come up with time-saving strategies and innovative problem-solving. It also results in a lowest-common-denominator culture that discourages creative and energetic workers from making waves.

Slow down—you’re making the rest of us look bad

When one person in a department starts to act up by working faster and smarter than everyone else, the bosses may love the increased efficiency, but I can guarantee you the worker’s colleagues do not. The overachiever is seen as trying to act better than everyone else, as sucking up, and he quickly learns to tamp down his enthusiasm and go with the flow or risk a very chilly reception in the break room.

The result? The old guard thinks Gen Y is lazy and corner-cutting; Gen Y gets frustrated wasting their time and moves on to a company that appreciates their efforts at improvement. Sheila the ultimate slow-working master is seen as a model employee, plugging away at her desk diligently for eight hours straight, while Jimmy the upstart new guy is seen as rushing through his work to get it over with and laze about online the rest of the day

And until companies learn to let go of the outdated standards of the 9-to-5 system and figure out ways to reward creativity and efficiency, they’ll continue wondering why all the Jimmies keep leaving them for their competitors (or to start their own businesses).

Have you ever felt judged for being too efficient? How do you think companies can change this situation?

Kelly Gurnett is Assistant Editor of Brazen Life and runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook and hire her services as a blogger extraordinaire here.

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The post The Efficiency Trap: Are You Working Too Fast for Your Own Good? appeared first on Brazen Life.

The only problem is, you’ve still gotta bring in a paycheck until you can find that bigger and better thing. And job searching while still employed can be tricky business.

Here are some must-dos and don’ts to make sure you keep that paycheck while exploring other options:

Don’t job search on company time

The easiest way to get yourself sacked is to give your employer reason to believe you’re looking for something else when you should be doing what you’re paid to do. If you really need to communicate with a hiring manager during normal working hours (such as to do a phone interview), set it up for your lunch break, and take the call on your cell phone out in your car.

The same goes for interviewing. Whenever possible, see if an interviewer is willing to meet you early in the morning, on your lunch break or after work hours. Many will understand that you’re employed and will work to accommodate you if they’re really interested.

And if you absolutely need to claim a couple of faux “doctor’s appointments” to make an interview? Keep them at a bare, bare minimum to avoid raising suspicions.

Also watch out for “My, you’re dressed up today!” remarks if your normal work attire isn’t quite as fancy as your interview outfits. Be armed to meet such remarks with comments like “Oh, I just got some new work clothes and thought I’d start rotating them into my wardrobe. Do you like them?”

Be honest with potential employers—but not too honest

You will inevitably be asked why you want to leave the company you’re currently working for. This is where many people get into trouble.

You don’t want to say things like, “They’re overloading me with projects,” because that makes hiring managers wonder if maybe you’re just not cut out to handle stressful periods. You also don’t want to complain about a bad boss or coworker issues, because that just makes you look like someone who has trouble getting along with others. You don’t want to imply anything that will make a prospective employer think you might eventually start looking for a new job on their time.

The best way to frame your response to this question (even if you are overloaded and you do hate your boss) is to say something like, “I don’t feel my abilities are being used well” or “I’d like a position that challenges me more”—something that demonstrates you’re a good worker who has simply outgrown your current position.

Keep it professional at the current job

You may have already checked out mentally and emotionally, but don’t let it show in your performance. Remember that this job will become a potential resume reference, and you don’t want to burn any bridges by letting your results slide right before you quit. (You also want to avoid being fired before you quit.)

Tie up loose ends

If you have unused paid vacation time, try to use it if you can do so without letting the cat out of the bag. In other words, don’t schedule all your remaining days in a row if you have an offer on the table, because chances are a) someone will wonder why you’re not saving a few days for later in the year, and b) your boss will probably not approve your being out of the office for two-thirds of the month.

Also don’t take two weeks in a row, then come in the following Monday to give your notice. That’s just inconsiderate, and you may need this employer as a reference down the line. (See above note on not burning bridges.)

If you work in a position that doesn’t have a specific handbook-designated job description (like in a small office where everyone does their own thing as needed), start making short memos detailing your job duties and any pertinent information your successor will need to know. This will make it easier to train them if your replacement is found before your two weeks are up—and if they’re not, it makes it easier for your employer to fill a new person in after you’re gone. Which, again, earns you some much-needed “you’ve quit, but we still like you” brownie points.

Searching for a new job while still employed can be tricky, but it is doable. Just make sure you’re careful and considerate, and you can find yourself a better position while still leaving your current job on good terms.

What other tips do you have for looking for a job when you’re already working?

Kelly Gurnett is Assistant Editor of Brazen Life and runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook and hire her services as a blogger extraordinaire here.

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The post How to Look for a New Job When You’re Already Employed appeared first on Brazen Life.

But what about the way some of us look down on those who choose to go the standard 9-to-5 route rather than a non-traditional career?

While we can’t stand people calling us lazy, entitled or unrealistic for wanting to forge our own paths, we sometimes have a tendency to look down on those who aren’t striking out as side hustlers, solopreneurs, multi-passionates or whatever other buzz-worthy titles are currently in style. We suspect that they’re settling. Giving in. Selling out.

(Author’s confession: I am among the guilty. As a card-carrying member of the most idealist strain of Gen Y, I find myself regularly pitying 9-to-5ers as if they’re sad little sheep who haven’t been shown the way. But some of them are perfectly content doing the 9-to-5, and who I am to judge just because it doesn’t work for me?)

Maybe, just maybe, some of the strained relations between parties could be eased if we stepped into our peers’ shoes once in awhile, just like we wish they would step into ours.

Hate the game, not the player

It’s reminiscent of the backlash that occurred from the women’s lib movement.

When women stood up to demand their place in the workforce, those who chose to still stay at home faced judgment from their more “forward-thinking” sisters. Suddenly, you were either a career pioneer or a doormat, perpetuating the stereotypes and injustices of a broken system. If you weren’t donning a power suit and pounding the glass ceiling, you were somehow seen as living a lesser life.

Things have improved considerably, but the old resentments and stereotypes still linger. Stay-at-home moms still face frustrating reactions like, “Must be nice to have so much time to yourself!” and “I wish all I had to do all day was clean the house!” People seem to have forgotten, in striving towards more options for women, that the freedom to choose includes the freedom to choose the “old” option, which is every bit as deserving of respect, even if it’s not the option for you.

Understanding goes both ways

I’m one of the first to raise my fist and argue that our current work system is horribly broken. The red tape and outdated standards of another era severely limit today’s workers in terms of how effectively we can work, how fairly we’re treated and how much satisfaction we can get from our jobs.

But just because the system needs updating, that doesn’t mean those who choose to stay in that system are inherently less ambitious, less admirable or less intelligent than those who want to push for change.

When our older coworkers were entering the workforce, things like remote work and online entrepreneurship were barely options to consider. You dutifully put in your decades at ABC Corp., whether it was your dream job or not, and as long as you were punctual and lived up to your job description, you got your paycheck and went home and considered it a job well done.

And some of our peers don’t want to be revolutionaries, dedicating their off-hours to side hustles and assuming the risks of starting a business or freelance career. They just want to go to work, come home (where they can actually forget about work) and enjoy the security of a steady paycheck. They maybe (gasp!) even enjoy their hours between 9:00 and 5:00, because they’ve found a job they’re passionate about.

If we demand respect for our preferences, we have to extend the same respect to—or at least attempt to empathize with—those who have different preferences.

Do you ever catch yourself judging others? If you work a traditional job, do you ever feel like the victim of discrimination?

Kelly Gurnett is Assistant Editor of Brazen Life and runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook and hire her services as a blogger extraordinaire here.

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The post Are We Unfairly Discriminating Against Peers With “Regular” Jobs? appeared first on Brazen Life.

Now you’re not just sharing a slice of stale cake for a few minutes; you’re schmoozing, dancing and sometimes drinking with these basic strangers you happen to share office space with. Things get even more uncomfortable if your office participates in a gift exchange.

You hardly know some of your coworkers. (And you don’t necessarily like some of the ones you do know.) What in the world are you supposed to buy these people?

Here are your best bets for gift ideas that range from “generic enough that anyone will like them” to “I’m pretty sure this will make several specific people moderately happy”:

Dos

1. Food-related gifts

Gourmet popcorn, cookies or candy are always a safe bet. (Just look at how quickly free goodies in the break room get scarfed up.)

2. Coffee, coffee, coffee

Give your coworkers a reprieve from the horrors of the rarely cleaned, usually burnt break room coffee by giving them a gift card to a coffee shop where they can enjoy several days’ worth of real, fresh-brewed java.

3. Entertainment-related gifts

Movie passes, gift certificates to local restaurants and gift cards to a bookstore are all broad enough that anyone would be happy to receive them.

4. Lotion, scented candles and other “girly” items

Obviously, if you have an assigned recipient who is decidedly not “girly” (like through a secret Santa program), this may not work. But if you just need something to throw into the pile for an anonymous white elephant exchange, chances are that most people will be happy enough with these items (or have a spouse who would be). Just make sure that the scents you choose are mild enough that most people would enjoy them—think vanilla or holiday-themed scents instead of strong floral or citrus ones.

5. Pampering and relaxation

A certificate for a half-hour massage is something male or female coworkers will both appreciate. You can also opt for something more ladylike like a manicure or pedicure—just stay away from image-specific services like hair coloring, which not everyone will want…and some might be offended by. (What’s the matter with their current hair color?)

5. Office-related gifts

What do you have in common with every single person you work with? Where you work. So you’re sure to score well with items that make a day at the office a little easier—creative and fun office supplies, fancy pens and coffee mugs are all safe bets.

Don’ts

1. Offbeat humor

Your friends and family might find a Scared of Santa book hilarious, but your middle-aged coworkers will probably just be confused. If you’re going to go for a funny gift, try to keep it harmlessly silly, PC and something that appeals to a wide range of ages and personalities. Cats doing silly things? Several people in your office will probably find that funny. A gag gift like a pair of silky Santa Claus boxers? Please don’t.

2. Booze

While this might be the item in the white elephant that everyone in the office secretly wants to fight for, you need to keep in mind your corporate culture. In some offices, it may be kosher, but for most, it’s best to steer clear of alcohol-related gifts. The bosses may frown on it, your coworkers may feel awkward accepting it, and some people may not be drinkers for a wide variety of personal reasons.

3.  Too pricey or too cheap

It seems like in every exchange, there’s the one person who winds up getting an iPod Nano while someone else gets a basket of odds and ends that clearly came from the Dollar Store. Whatever your office’s stated budget is, stick to it.

What are the best and worst gifts you’ve seen in an office gift exchange?

Kelly Gurnett is Assistant Editor of Brazen Life and runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook and hire her services as a blogger extraordinaire here.

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The post The Dreaded Office Gift Exchange: What the #*&@ Should You Buy? appeared first on Brazen Life.

You blew the deadline on THE big project. You sent an email to the wrong person (the absolute worst person, actually) thanks to address auto-fill. You messed up the numbers on the end-of-year spreadsheet that goes directly to corporate.

If you’ve ever made a mistake like this—the kind that has visions of pink slips flashing before your eyes—you know what happens the instant you realize what you’ve done: complete and utter paralyzing panic.

Your first instinct is most likely to run and hide somewhere no one will ever find you. That’s only natural. Your second instinct (after you’ve realized you can’t fit under your cubicle desk without your legs poking out) needs to be more grownup if you want to mitigate your losses.

When you make a major mistake on the job, there is only so much you can do. You can’t un-do the mistake, so your only hope is to damage control—smartly. Here’s how to do that:

1. Admit your mistake immediately

When I was just starting out at the law firm I’m with, I sent a motion to be filed without the most important exhibit attached. I didn’t realize this until the next day, when I was filing away our copy of the motion. I had no choice but to tell my boss—certainly the other side would be quick to point out the error as soon as they noticed it. So, I swallowed my pride (and my terror) and ’fessed up.

My boss was understandably angry at first, but he cooled down quickly and advised me to drive down to the clerk’s office right away and fix the issue. Then he told me something I’ve remembered ever since: “People make mistakes. What matters is that you admit it as soon as you realize it and you do whatever it takes to fix it.”

That’s good advice for business and for life.

2. Don’t make excuses (even if you have legitimate ones)

Sometimes you just get overwhelmed and flake out on a project you’d normally be all over. Sometimes something gets in your way, whether it’s illness or a jammed copier or a UPS outage that delays your Very Important Delivery.

It doesn’t matter. All that matters to your boss is what you’re going to do to remedy the situation. Offering excuses (even if you have valid ones) just makes you look like you’re trying to avoid the blame.

So even if you feel you had a really good reason for the mistake, suck it up and take full responsibility. Anything other than a genuine apology could only get you in deeper trouble.

3. Do everything in your power to make it right

Stay as late as needed until the big project is finished—and make sure to allow extra time for any other big projects in the future.

Call up the person you accidentally emailed and request that he delete the email immediately. If the information was sensitive or confidential, you may need to have him sign a waiver stating that he destroyed the document and will not disclose anything he read in it. (Your boss can advise you on the best route to take.)

Email corporate and let them know that your spreadsheet was off and you will have a revision to them as soon as possible.

Stop the damage from spreading, clean up whatever damage was done and do whatever you can to guarantee a mistake like this doesn’t happen again.

4. Be prepared for the repercussions

Even if you do everything you can to be forthright, apologetic and to fix the damage, you need to brace yourself for the fact that you will be suffering some sort of consequence for what happened.

If the mistake was a deeply serious one, you might be fired. It’s awful, and you’ll want to smack your head against the wall for making such a stupid error, but there is nothing you can do about it now. It’s over and done. Learn from your mistake and be prepared to move on.

You may need to rebuild trust with your boss. It will be frustrating that all your hard work up to this point will be erased and you’ll have to start back at zero, but it can be done. Be patient and continue to work hard, and you can win back the trust you’ve lost.

5. Go easy on yourself

We all mistakes, even whoppers of mistakes. It’s part of being human. Yes, you should examine what you did wrong so you can do better in the future, but don’t dwell or beat yourself up too hard over it.

Nations have fallen and civilizations have crumbled because of people’s mistakes. In the grand scheme of things, you will be okay.

Have you ever made a huge mistake at work? How did you handle it?

Kelly Gurnett is Assistant Editor of Brazen Life and runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook and hire her services as a blogger extraordinaire here.

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The post What to Do When You Screw Up Royally appeared first on Brazen Life.

We’ve talked a lot on this blog about networking, and for good reason. It’s an essential part of any job search or career advancement strategy.

But when you think about “networking,” where are you picturing yourself? At an industry convention? At a job fair? Maybe even in front of the computer, researching your best leads for a networking email?

Chances are there are several places you’re not thinking of. Like standing in line at Starbucks, or sitting in a doctor’s waiting room or boarding a plane for a holiday trip home to your family. But according to master “random connector” David Topus, if you pass up these golden opportunities, you could be missing out.

The Hidden Potential of Total Strangers

In his book Talk to Strangers: How Everyday Random Encounters Can Expand Your Business, Career, Income, and Life, Topus discusses how he has made numerous priceless connections with people through what he calls “random connecting”—i.e., chatting up the people you come across in everyday, non-professional situations.

He even goes so far as to book flights from one big city to the next when he has no real reason to make the trip other than talking to his seatmates on the plane, fellow travelers in the boarding line and executives between flights in the airport lounge. (Most of us don’t have the funds to connect quite that randomly, but it’s an intriguing idea.)

Topus’s argument is anyone you come across in life could potentially hold the key to something you need or want, be it personally or professionally. She might be an employee at the company you’re interested in working for, and you can ask her questions about the working environment and corporate culture. He might be a graphic designer, which is exactly what you’ve been looking for to get your new website launched. Even if the person you meet doesn’t hold any skills or positions that would be useful to you, maybe they know someone who does—a son, a friend, a neighbor.

The world, in this viewpoint, is one big networking-pa-looza, just waiting for you to dive in and start making connections. But how exactly do you do that?

How to Randomly Connect (Successfully)

Of course, it isn’t quite as easy as turning to the person behind you in line and launching into your elevator pitch. Networking by traditional means can feel awkward enough, but when it comes to trying to network with people who aren’t close to expecting a networking overture, you need to approach carefully.

Here are some key pieces of advice to keep in mind:

1. Be aware of the other person’s openness (or lack thereof). If someone has their headphones on as they hunch over their laptop, chances are they’re not open to a sudden chat-up. If, however, you catch someone’s glance and she gives you a friendly smile, she’s probably okay with being approached.

2. Use contextual topics for your introduction. Did the person in front of you just order your favorite sandwich from this café? Is the line for the plane you’re boarding taking longer than usual? People are more likely to strike up a conversation with a stranger if that stranger mentions something they’re both experiencing in the moment. It feels a lot less threatening than “Hi! My name is Tom!!! What’s your name?”

3. Look for clues as to how this person can be helpful to you. Sure, you can come right out and say “So, what do you do for a living?” but the conversation will feel more natural (and the other person will feel more comfortable) if you can segue into the topic. Learn to ask questions that will lead to the information you want to know. Comment on the book they’re reading by saying “Is that for business, or pleasure?” Ask what brings them to the airport. Wonder if they’re heading back to the office after they grab this cup of coffee.

4. Be genuinely interested. People love talking about themselves. So be authentically curious about what the other person is saying, and ask follow-up questions that demonstrate your interest—in how they feel about their job, what they think of current industry trends—not solely in what they can do for you.

5. Mention what you can do for them. Networking goes both ways. If you specialize in a service or have a special skill that could really benefit your new friend, make sure to mention it—not in a sleazy, “Well, whaddya know?” kind of way, but in an off-the-cuff “I just happen to be in that line of business!” comment. Don’t try to do a full presentation in this quick encounter; just toss out some key, compelling facts about your abilities and mention you’d be happy to follow up with them in the future.

6. Make sure to follow up, tastefully. Even the most enjoyable random connection will probably slip out of someone’s mind the instant they get back to their regular day. So make sure before parting ways that you get some sort of contact information from the other person—their email address, their business card, etc. Then send them a quick message saying you enjoyed meeting them and offering something to make sure they keep you in mind. Send a link to an article you think they’d find interesting based on your conversation. Remind them of a business need they mentioned and say you’d be happy to offer some recommendations on how you could help. Keep it light, brief and professional, and you never know what it might lead to…

What do you think of the idea of “random connecting?” Would you feel comfortable doing this, or does it feel too pushy?

Kelly Gurnett is Assistant Editor of Brazen Life and runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook and hire her services as a blogger extraordinaire here.

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The post How Talking to Total Strangers Can Help You Build Your Network appeared first on Brazen Life.

You wake up looking forward to the day ahead. You give it your all. You take difficulties in stride and face challenges with a “let me at ’em!” attitude. Loving your work makes you one heck of an employee.

Which is all well and good, but what about those of who don’t love our work? Those of us who are just there for the paycheck, who once loved our jobs but have since fallen out of love, who are only hanging around long enough to move onto something else?

If you’re in one of those situations, it can be all too easy to become resentful, apathetic, even hostile—all things that make you a prime nominee for a little talk from HR. No one wants to be let go for poor performance or attitude (especially when you’re already planning your escape), but it can be hard to show up day after day when your heart just isn’t in it.

So while you work on extricating yourself, what do you do to in the meantime keep yourself from becoming a grumpy, disgruntled employee?

Find positives wherever you can

Does your company treat you to free lunch Fridays? Do you have some great inside jokes with your cube-mate? Does the receptionist make the best pot of coffee you’ve ever had?

Look hard for these little pleasures, and grab onto them like life rafts. Enjoy everything (and anything) you possibly can, and try to let the other stuff glance off of you.

Put up your defense shields

Don’t let yourself become Milton from Office Space. Yes, bad bosses and annoying coworkers can get on anyone’s nerves—but when you’re halfway out the door (in your mind), these little frustrations can start to feel unbearable. Don’t let them.

Remind yourself as often as necessary that these things are petty and, most important, temporary. You are not long for this office, so learn to see the humor in how mad these things used to make you, and laugh about them. At the end of the day, what do they really matter?

Remember why you’re doing this (for now)

If you haven’t chucked it all to pursue something else by now, there’s something making you play it safe and stick around till you’ve got somewhere better to go. What is it? Keeping up on your mortgage payments, providing health insurance for your family or paying down your debt so you can afford to be a little less play-it-safe in the future?

Whatever your reason(s), keep them in mind when you start to feel stir-crazy. Someone depends on you to hold down this job—whether it’s a significant other, a family, or just your future self, who would not like to find herself out on the curb before she has a new position lined up.

Think of the future

No, I don’t mean “envision your freedom” (although that can help, too). I mean think of the cold, hard repercussions of your actions today. If you ultimately long for something better than this, being the best employee you can now is the best way to get it.

If you become that sullen, skulking employee who darkens the corner of every conference room, you’re not likely to get a glowing recommendation for your next job. (Or to stay very long at this job, for that matter.) Take the high road, be the bigger man (or woman), and remember that your value as an employee in the future is tied to how well you perform today.

Do not (I repeat: DO NOT) take your work home with you

You’re more likely to survive your 9 to 5 if you have an enjoyable, relaxing life outside your working hours. So do whatever you can to keep your job-related emotions at your job. And fill your evenings and weekends with family, friends and hobbies that will keep you motivated and optimistic.

Keep looking for something else with a vengeance

Even if your search isn’t leading you anywhere at the moment, just the act of actively looking can help you feel better. You know that ultimately, your time in this less-than-ideal situation is limited. You are on your way out, even though you’re not out quite yet.

Take it one day at a time, knowing that this will not stretch on forever.

Kelly Gurnett is Assistant Editor of Brazen Life and runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook and hire her services as a blogger extraordinaire here.

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The post How to Keep Your Head in the Game When Your Heart’s Left the Building appeared first on Brazen Life.

Whether it’s a matter of jealousy or simple ignorance of anything outside the traditional 9-5, people have a tendency to view non-traditional workers as the lucky elite—those who spend their days luxuriating around their houses, doing a little work when they feel like it but generally basking in infinite freedom.

If only it were like that!

While working from home or for yourself does have its perks, work is still work. And in some ways, non-traditional work can actually be a lot harder than your standard clock-punching office job. So before you put your foot in your mouth in front of your work-from-home friend or relative, here’s a quick rundown of things I can guarantee they will not appreciate hearing:

1. “Enjoy your day off!”

I get this one regularly because I work part-time at a standard office job and have two days a week free to pursue my freelancing. I’ve learned to bite my tongue from responding, “You mean, enjoy my second job?” because that makes it sound like freelancing is something I don’t enjoy, and I love it.

But it can be frustrating to realize my coworkers think I’m spending two days a week watching daytime TV while they continue to toil away at the office. I actually work harder when I’m at home, since the office has an ebb and flow of projects but I plug away pretty ceaselessly on my freelancing.

While I certainly enjoy my freelance work more than my day job, that doesn’t always make it fun or easy. And it can sting to think that my office mates imagine I’m just taking it easy when I’m not there.

2. “Why can’t you [meet for lunch/run this errand/bake a million cupcakes for the bake sale]? You’ve got the whole day off!”

Just because freelancers and entrepreneurs have more control over their hours, that doesn’t mean they have tons of free time to burn. It’s taken months for my husband to realize that bad things will happen if he tries to play the “But I’ve been working all day!” card when I tell him I don’t have time to do whatever errand he wants on one of my freelance days.

It’s true that it’s easier for me to book doctors’ appointments with my freelance days open, and it’s true that I get to drink my coffee while watching Live! With Kelly and Michael as my office mates are sitting down to their desks for the day. But I still have a long list of projects to get to, and I need to be as disciplined as I can with my time to get them all done, and done well.

3. “I wish I didn’t have to work for anyone!”

While we do have more say over how we prioritize and accomplish our work, the fact is that we still report to other people.

Freelancers have to stick to their clients’ deadlines. Remote workers need to get their company’s projects done as instructed. Even totally self-employed business owners still need to meet quarterly projections, make employee paydays and serve their customers’ needs.

Unless you’ve got a grant to work on your semi-autobiographical play for a year, you still have to meet other people’s expectations and deadlines. You’ve got more freedom as to how you do that, but you’re not reporting to nobody.

4. “Must be nice to [sleep in/work in your pajamas/do whatever you want]!”

If you think non-traditional workers live lives of posh and infinite freedom, you are mistaken. We are not the Real Housewives of Wherever-We-Live. We have visions of sleeping in and being able to go window shopping in the middle of the afternoon, just like you do.

Sometimes, we are able to do that. But those are special treats we allow ourselves. Because most of us got to where we are through a heck of a lot of hustle and discipline, and we need continued hustle and discipline to maintain our footing.

We wake up early and go to bed late. We work on the weekends and evenings. We spend whole days in front of the computer, realizing with a start at 5:00 p.m. that it’s time to make dinner and we haven’t yet showered or eaten lunch (or breakfast).

Yes, working in your pajamas does give you a certain feeling of power and autonomy (and getting away with something kinda cool), but it’s still work.

5. “I’d kill to be able to do what you’re doing!”

It can be difficult to take this one as what it ought to be (a compliment to how hard we’ve worked to get this lifestyle) rather than what it normally is (a statement that we’re lucky bastards who are getting away with something totally unfair).

In this day and age, there are so many ways you can go about attaining a non-traditional work situation. The Internet has removed the “gatekeepers,” and anyone can learn to market and establish themselves in whatever field they excel in.

Granted, maybe you have circumstances that make this difficult for you right now—you’re in too much debt, you have other obligations to look after first—or maybe you’re just more comfortable with the structure and security of a traditional job. But if you’d honestly be happy to do physical harm to someone to live a work-from-home lifestyle, you can find a way to do it. You will, in fact, because people with that kind of drive can’t help it.

6. “Your house must be so clean!”

If only, my friend. If only.

While we’re able to run a load of laundry while we’re working, if all we did was play housekeeper all day long, our income would dry up faster than you can say “Swiffer.”

Work-life balance is an issue for us, too. It’s actually harder, because when you work where you live, there’s nothing to tangibly divide home from the office. Self-starters are ambitious and compulsively driven, so having 24/7 access to their offices only means they’re working that much more.

7. “So, what exactly do you do all day?”

Sigh.

Well, let’s see. We’re business owners, marketing reps, accounting departments, customer service associates, administrative managers… plus all that work of actually providing our products and services to our clients.

What do you do all day?

Kelly Gurnett is Assistant Editor of Brazen Life and runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook and hire her services as a blogger extraordinaire here.

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The post 7 Things You Should Never Say to Someone Who Works from Home appeared first on Brazen Life.

But what about the financial aspect?

Oh, I’m sure you’ve run the big numbers like income, but what about the smaller, day-to-day costs of working from home versus working a traditional office job?

Here are some monetary costs and benefits of working from home you may not have considered:

Savings

Commuting Expenses

The average American spends about 25 minutes each way commuting to and from work daily. By commuting only from your bed to your laptop, you can save considerable amounts of gas money—not to mention extra costs like tolls, parking fees and repairs from the added wear and tear on your car.

In fact, if you’re a two-car household and you’re comfortable with the idea, you could even sell one of your cars altogether, not only saving you gas money and insurance fees, but also giving you a nice little windfall to put aside for some of your startup costs.

Eating Out

Grabbing a coffee at Starbucks every morning. Going out to lunch with coworkers to escape the cube (or because you didn’t have time to pack a lunch).

When you’re working from home, you no longer need the convenience that comes from just buying your food instead of preparing something at home. You also need less of a reason to treat yourself/de-stress/escape your horrible boss by running out to eat. Even if you’re frugal about how much you spend eating out, it still adds up fast.

Clothes

You know that cliché about people working from in their PJs? Well, it’s true. Maybe you’re not a “conference call in my footie pajamas” person, but you also no longer need to put on a suit and tie each day. (Unless that motivates you somehow. To each his own.)

Whether you’re rockin’ the sweats, t-shirt and jeans or hoodie, you no longer need to worry about updating your work wardrobe each season or paying dry cleaning costs. You’ll still want to keep a few good pieces on hand in case you need to meet a client in person or have a Skype call, but if you invest in a few classic pieces that can be updated with accessories, you can make just a couple outfits fit all your needs.

Office Parties and Fundraisers

No more will you have to pay $10 for stale cake and greasy pizza to celebrate the birthday of an office mate you barely even know. No more will you feel guilted into purchasing wrapping paper, candy bars or gourmet popcorn to help the children of office mates you barely know go on school trips or join pewee soccer.

Costs

Taxes

If you’re working remotely as an employee of a company, this one may not apply to you. But if you run your own business or do freelance or subcontracting work, you know all too well how large a chunk of your income the government takes once you become self-employed. Be sure to talk to a CPA when considering making the transition to self-employment so that you understand exactly what kind of impact your new situation will have on your bottom line.

Health Care

Again, if you’re not under someone else’s employ, your health care costs are now yours to bear.  Be careful to consider that extra expense when you’re calculating how much salary you’ll really be taking home each month.

Utility Bills

If you have a dedicated home office, the good news is that you can write off some of these expenses, at least for the portion of your house made up by your office. (Again, see a CPA for advice for your specific situation.) But the fact remains that when you’re working from home, your utility bills are going to go up.

You can no longer turn the furnace down for eight hours a day in the winter. And even if you’re careful to turn off lights and appliances in rooms you’re not using, you’ll still be using the kitchen, bathroom and other areas that would normally be dark while you were at the office. So be prepared to see your utility bills jump a bit.

Technology and Office Equipment

When you’re doing it all from home, your old patched-together PC and lowest-grade internet may not cut it anymore. While there’s no need to run out and buy an all-in-one printer/scanner/copier/fax machine, bear in mind that you may need to invest a little extra to make your business effective and efficient.

You might need to purchase accounting software to keep track of your various clients or shell out for business-grade internet service if you’re accessing large amounts of data or participating in a lot of video conference calls. The good news is that, just as with utilities, many of these expenses can be written off.

Do you work from home? What added expenses/savings have you noticed?

Kelly Gurnett is Assistant Editor of Brazen Life and runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook and hire her services as a blogger extraordinaire here.

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The post The Savings (and Costs) of Working from Home appeared first on Brazen Life.

(For the purposes of this piece, I’ll refer to the Go-To Guy to avoid any he/she confusion. But Go-To Girls are every bit as prevalent—and awesome.)

Go-Tos are the ones everyone instinctively checks with when a tricky problem comes up—because somehow, they always know what to do. They always keep their heads in a crisis. They’re always happy to help out, they’re energizing to be around and they instantly boost the morale of anyone they come in contact with.

They are the office equivalent of superheros. And anyone can be one. (Well, almost anyone—see caveat below.)

Why the Go-Tos get it all

Caveat: If your reaction to the thought of being a Go-To is “Gah! So much extra work and responsibility! Why would I want that?”, then you’re not Go-To material. Don’t even try to be. It won’t work.

If, however, your reaction is more along the lines of “Interesting…What’s in it for me?”—here’s your answer:

Respect

Even if he’s a lowly file clerk, a Go-To somehow manages to get the respect of even the highest up on the totem pole. His questions are answered, his voice is heard and no one hovers over his shoulder to make sure he’s getting his work done.

Why? Because he’s proven time and again that he can be trusted and that he delivers consistent, superior results. And even if you are “a lowly file clerk,” being a respected lowly file clerk can make you feel important and valuable—which goes a long way towards enjoying your job, whatever it is.

Networking advantage

“Have you ever met that personal assistant over at Jones & Jones? He’s a dynamo.”

“I know him! We had a crisis with the Smith closing, and you should have seen how he handled it. Jones is lucky to have him.”

“I’m telling you, if he ever leaves J&J, we’re snapping him up.”

“Not if we do first!”

That hot-ticket employee they’re discussing? Yeah, that could be you. Your reputation doth proceed you—and it doth do you good if you’re a Go-To.

Stellar recommendations

If you ever decide to leave your job for something else, a few positively sparkling recommendations won’t hurt. Heck, if you’re as good as they say you are, you’ll probably have a few offers already lined up. (See above.)

Leverage, baby

This is by far the most important perk of being a Go-To. If you have dreams of negotiating a flexible schedule or work-from-home arrangement…If you’re sick of being stuck in a cube and angling for that new office that just opened up…If your kid gets sick and you need extra time off without getting wrist-slapped by the employee handbook…Leverage is the tool that will get you there.

Being a key asset your company can’t live without gives you plenty of negotiating power. Any boss who knows what’s good for their business will do everything they can to hold on to a Go-To (within reason).

Just make sure you use your powers for good and not evil, okay?

How to become a Go-To

So. You’re up for the challenge of being the office superhero. (Good for you!) Here are the steps you need to take to earn your Go-To Guy (or Girl!) cape:

Be agreeable

Sounds rather mild for a superhero, doesn’t it? But in a workplace full of people who b*tch and moan over every copier jam or extra project, being cheerful and happy to take on whatever’s thrown your way can really make you shine.

Do what’s asked of you with a smile, offer to help others if you’ve got some extra time, thank the people who help you out. These seem like such small gestures, but you’d be amazed how rare it is to find someone who’s just happy to be of assistance.

Keep calm and carry on

Deadline will blow up. Big deals will suddenly crumble. That’s the nature of working anywhere; sometimes sh** happens. But while everyone else is panicking and pointing fingers, a Go-To gets down to work to see what he can do to damage control.

Be cool. Be collected. Be a rock that others can depend on,

The next time a critical project comes up that needs extra-special care, guess who the boss is going to think of first for the job?

Go above and beyond

If your report is due on Monday, turn it in on Friday (with a few extra stats thrown in that you weren’t required to include, but that you thought the company would find helpful). If you’re filing and you notice the system’s a little hard to navigate, propose a better way to organize it. Heck, if the coffee pot is out of water and that’s technically “the receptionist’s job,” refill it yourself—then wipe up the spills around it.

This one is tricky, because you don’t want to come across as a suck-up. The key is in giving extra as though it’s a matter of course. (“Oh yeah, I noticed the ABC Corp. deadline is next week, so I thought it might be helpful to send out that status report to the team to make sure we’re all on the same page. It only took me a minute; don’t worry about it.”)

Don’t be pushy or showy about the fact that you’re doing more; just do more because you’re a good worker and you care about the company. People will notice.

Always be learning

Most employees are happy just to do their jobs, day in and day out, and remain totally ignorant of anything that doesn’t fall within their “need to know” scope. But a Go-To is a curious and ambitious person. He likes to make connections between tasks, look up terms and procedures he doesn’t understand, ask intelligent questions to help himself see the big picture more clearly. And because of this, his areas of knowledge and expertise are always growing.

I started off as a temp at my law firm, filling in for a secretary on maternity leave for a few weeks while I was in college. Eleven years later, I am a paralegal who has gradually negotiated herself down to a part-time schedule to accommodate her side hustle. How did I rise through the ranks? Through all of the above.

You can do it, too. And I can tell you from experience that it’s worth it.

Kelly Gurnett is Assistant Editor of Brazen Life and runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook and hire her services as a blogger extraordinaire here.

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The post How to Become the Go-To Guy (or Gal) in Your Office appeared first on Brazen Life.

If you work in a typical office environment, you share your space with one or more coworkers. And that means you need to learn how to play well with others. Because being stuck in the same space for eight hours a day with people who basically amount to perfect strangers requires a certain amount of courtesy and consideration.

While you may not be as obnoxious as “that guy,” there are still plenty of little things you might do without realizing how much they can get on your coworkers’ nerves. And it’s the little things that slowly grate on people until suddenly you realize that Bob’s been giving you the silent treatment for days and you kind of hate Sheila.

So here are some simple, easy ways to make the workplace an overall shinier, happier place and prevent some unnecessary drama:

Avoid the heavy perfume

Same goes for cologne for the guys, as well as scented beauty products like lotion and soap.

We tend to not notice the scents we wear after a while, which can lead us to layer them on heavier than they need to be. You may think you smell like “Midnight Fantasy,” but you could be giving your coworkers a raging headache.

Keep the tunes respectful

If you work in close quarters, headphones are always the best way to go. (Although even those can be turned up so loud your coworkers notice, so be careful.)

If you have a little more leeway and can play the radio at your desk, try to keep your musical choices to ones most generic coworkers wouldn’t find offensive. It doesn’t have to be smooth jazz or golden oldies, but maybe stick to some easier fare like Taylor Swift or Colbie Caillat instead of Drizzy or Nicki Minaj.

Clean up after yourself (and, sometimes, other people)

It’s common courtesy to wipe up the coffee you spilled on the counter—but what about refilling the copier when you’re done with your project, even though there’s still a little paper left for the next person (though not enough for a full job)?

When you find the copy room table littered with staples and paperclips, do you clear it off to make room for yourself, work around it—or do you add your own contribution to the clutter, figuring that if other people don’t mind leaving a mess behind them, why should you help them out?

Don’t be petty, and don’t (PLEASE don’t) make the receptionist print out one of those “Your Mom Doesn’t Work Here” signs. Just keep things orderly and replace whatever you notice has run out, without making it into a power play.

Stay away from pungent lunches

You may love your big bag of midday popcorn, but if your office microwave (it’s the microwave’s fault, of course) always burns it, you may want to find a different snacking option. Burnt popcorn can singe the nostrils of people several departments away.

Be equally aware of the fact that your next-door desk mate may not appreciate it when you reheat your spicy curry leftovers from the night before. True, you do have a right to eat whatever you want—but there’s also such a thing as common courtesy. If you show some for others, they’re more likely to show some for you.

Don’t be the office reality show

You know that coworker who’s going through a messy divorce, who has all those risque stories about the girls he’s dating or whose teen is getting into so much trouble at school lately? You probably  do—because most offices have that person who loves to air their personal dramas, whether or not they’re appropriate for all audiences.

When you’re in mixed company, it’s best to keep your juicier stories only for the coworkers you know share your sense of humor or lack of PC controls. Not only do some people just not want to get involved in your drama, but some might be genuinely offended by your subject matter.

What common courtesies do you wish your office mates would observe?

Kelly Gurnett is Assistant Editor of Brazen Life and runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook and hire her services as a blogger extraordinaire here.

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The post Common Courtesies That Will Keep You from Driving Your Coworkers Nuts appeared first on Brazen Life.

But it has also created a constantly connected world where the concept of work/life balance can sometimes seem like a fairy tale. How do you reclaim a little “me” time (for both your health and sanity) when you feel like you’re always on call?

Try these tips for a start:

Turn off your phone

*GASP!* Can she really mean that?

Yes, I do. Turn that sucker off. And not just the ringer—the whole freakin’ thing. Have a cutoff time at which you will no longer be available for whatever emergency someone decides to punt your way.

It also helps to have designated “no phone zones,” like meal times or date nights with your significant other.

Allow yourself a mind dump

Listen to some particularly cathartic music on the commute home. Allow yourself half an hour when you get home to watch that completely mindless reality show you love. Take your dog for a walk and focus on the sights, smells and sounds of being out in nature.

If your s.o. is willing to be your sounding board, allow yourself to vent about the day unrestrained for 10-15 minutes when you get home—and then promptly shut off all further thoughts about work and everything connected with it.

Whatever you do, allow yourself some time to clear your mind of all the work muck and transition into the personal part of your day. Don’t dwell on the stupid mistake you made on that report or the catty thing your arch nemesis said in the break room. It’s bad enough you have to endure the stress and frustration when you’re at work; don’t let work win by allowing it to ruin your personal time, too.

Have glorious, distracting hobbies

The sort of hobbies you love so much you get lost in them. The sort that make it a little easier to get through the work day knowing you have them to look forward to.

Whether it’s exercising, doing crafts or even working on a side hustle, it’s important to have things that bring you happiness and fulfillment in your personal time. They take your mind off work stress, remind you of what really matters and help put all the crappy stuff that happens between 9 and 5 into perspective.

Compart-mentalize

Visualization exercises really can help. Picture your mind as a series of rooms, each one dedicated to a significant part of your life. There’s a room for thoughts about your family, your friendships, your work and any other major parts of your life.

When five o’clock hits, give one last wave to everything that’s in the “work” room, and then picture yourself closing the door firmly and sliding the latch across it. No peeking inside it in the evening; no reopening it till the weekend is over. That part of the day (and your obligation to devote mind space to it) is over. Clearly visualizing that can help make it stick.

Learn to stand up for your time

This one is the most important of them all. You can have all the tricks in the world for separating yourself from the office, but if you aren’t willing to defend your time when the office tries encroaching, you’re doomed.

Put an away message on your work email letting people know that you check your inbox between the hours of ____ and ____ and will get back to them then. If you’re a freelancer or a remote worker, make it clear to your employer(s) when your office hours are—and stick to them.

If you start making exceptions to your own rules and allowing your time to be hijacked, your time will be hijacked.  It’s that simple.

If you feel guilty saying “no,” just remind yourself you’re not only standing up for your own time; you’re protecting your ability to get your work done. A burnt-out and stretched-thin employee makes mistakes, gets sick more often and can have horrible morale (which counts for a lot in job performance).

You have every right to some “you” time. If anything, it makes you a better worker when you are at work.

What tips do you have for leaving work at work?

Kelly Gurnett is Assistant Editor of Brazen Life and runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook and hire her services as a blogger extraordinaire here.

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The post Tips for Leaving Work at Work (and Staying Sane) appeared first on Brazen Life.

• “Guess who just strolled in 15 minutes late—again?”
• “Her kids seem to get sick an awful lot…”
• “How many vacation days has he taken, now?”
• “Must be nice to ‘work’ from home.” (The quotation marks around “work” are crucial.)
• “Well, I’ve been here since 8:45…”

These lovely little bits of self-righteous judgment are what is known as “sludge” in the the Results-Only Work Environment (or ROWE) philosophy. Sludge is any statement meant to belittle someone or measure their worth as an employee solely by the amount of time they spend with their butts parked at their desks. And even if ROWE is a new term to you, I’m willing to bet this attitude is one you’ve encountered before.

Some people like to paint themselves as model employees simply because they follow the schedule to a military T. You’ve heard of absenteeism? Well, sludge is a form of presenteesim—the belief that a good employee shows up at 8:45 a.m., leaves at 5 p.m. on the dot, takes precisely one hour for lunch and not a second more—and anyone who fails to play by these rules must clearly be a slacker.

Presenteesim is, quite frankly, ridiculous. And it’s about a century behind the times. Here’s why:

Anyone can be a loyal butt-at-desk-parker.

I’ve known plenty of people who show up precisely when they should, are at their desks every second they ought to be, make plenty of comments about colleagues who aren’t as punctual…and get absolutely nothing done over the course of the day.

You can be a model presentee employee while playing Farmville and reading up on celebrity gossip; as long as you minimize those windows in time, the only thing your boss sees when he walks by is that you’re hard at work at something. And that wins you points over Frank, who takes an hour and fifteen minute lunch every day. (Nevermind that he puts in twice as much work when he is at his desk).

It gives people no incentive to work smartly.

If anything, it does the opposite. When you need your work to get you to 5:00, there’s always the temptation to stretch it out (or find lots of non-work-related ways to amuse yourself when you’re done with that day’s projects).

Sadly, “face time” is still unfairly weighted. Not only does this discriminate against hardworking telecommuters; it lets all sorts of shoddy employees slide because they’re diligently at their desks every day. Why should they bother learning shortcuts or developing systems to increase their efficiency, when that only means they’d have to take on extra work that the slower workers aren’t assigned? It’s so much easier to just coast till clock-out time.

The world has evolved past it.

Sure, back when there were no GoToMeetings or remote access, you had to be at your desk from 9-5, because that was the only place you could get your work done. But with the advent of things like smart phones and cloud computing, anyone can work from anywhere at any time—and many people do.

The antiquated notion that “work” can only happen between the hours of 9-5, Monday through Friday went out the window a long time ago. Ask any working mom who’s had to field emergency calls from the office while her kids scream in the background over when dinner will be ready. Or any dad who’s been stuck staring at his Blackberry while he sits in the bleachers at his son’s baseball game. So often we’re expected to be on-call, all the time; it only seems fair that we not be forced to adhere to expectations invented in the age of the typewriter.

Results matter more than face time.

Being present does not necessarily equal “working.” Just because you don’t see Jenny at her desk at 9:00 doesn’t mean she’s slacking off. For all you know, she could have been working on a presentation until midnight the night before (when all the good little presentees were fast asleep in their beds, having left work at work the instant it turned 5:00).

John may have taken a half day to take his kids to the doctor (yes, again), but did you know that while he’s in the waiting room, he’s answering emails and coordinating the projects that are going on back at the office (while you’re having your daily coffee klatch in the break room)?

People no longer need to be in the office to be working—and, on the flip side, just because someone is in the office doesn’t mean they are working. But until the old guard accepts this, presenteeism will continue to unfairly judge people based on how often their backsides meet their desk chairs.

What do you think about the presenteeism concept? Have you seen it in action?

Kelly Gurnett is Assistant Editor of Brazen Life and runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook and hire her services as a blogger extraordinaire here.

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The post Why Keeping Track of Your Employees’ Every Move Is So Last Century appeared first on Brazen Life.

Most pessimists like to fancy themselves “realistic.” They think optimists are deluding themselves, glossing over the tough parts of life and tricking themselves into seeing things as much rosier than they really are.

To put it in a way those pessimists can relate to: this is a load of crap.

Eeyore is presented with a perfectly lovely reality plenty of times—his friends build him a new house to shelter him from a rainstorm, for example—but he barely notices because he’s too busy muttering about how he hopes it will at least hold up until the next hurricane comes.

Real optimism isn’t about forcing yourself to fake cheerfulness or being the annoying Pollyanna everyone can’t stand. It’s about choosing to hope for the best, even while being prepared for the worst. It’s about seeing the potential in life, acknowledging the challenges and deliberately allowing yourself to believe things can turn out right (and that you have the power to make that happen). And it’s why an optimist will thoroughly kick a pessimist’s tail, every time.

Don’t believe me? Take a look at the ways optimists stack up against their glass-half-empty brethren:

Optimists are more in control.  With a “can-do” spirit and the ability to see the bright side of things, optimists feel (and are) more in control of their lives than those who see themselves as victims of an unfair world that always lets them down.

Pessimists are more likely to suffer from low self-esteem, low self-confidence and depression—and even when things do go right for them, they’re likely to brush it off as a fluke and discredit any role they had in making it happen.

Optimists are more resilient. If you believe the world is against you and anything that can go wrong will, chances are you’ll have trouble bouncing back from a disappointment or setback because you just don’t see the point.

Optimists are better able to roll with the punches because they believe that, ultimately, things will work out for them. They’re more likely to see setbacks as temporary and to not beat themselves up over mistakes.

Optimists are better at facing challenges. When confronted with a tricky dilemma or an overwhelming problem, optimists are more likely to try to find ways to break it down into doable steps and see what they can do with it.

Pessimists, on the other hand, tend to shut down when faced with a challenge, seeing it as even worse than it really is and deciding ahead of time that any effort they make will probably fail.

Optimists are more open to opportunities. True optimists are perfectly “realistic” about the pitfalls and risks they face; they just choose to not let them get in their way. They’re more willing to embrace a new opportunity, and to embrace it with the kind of attitude that will enable them to make the most of it.

Optimists get more opportunities. All other factors being equal, who is a manager more likely to eye for that new position that just opened up: Employee A, who accepts every project with a smile, works hard at it and gets along with his coworkers; or Employee B, who moans every time the copier breaks, sighs heavily whenever he’s handed an assignment and has that desk everyone skirts because they don’t want to be caught up in its doom and gloom atmosphere?

Regardless of whether Employee B is perfectly capable at his job, Employee A is much more likely to get the promotion because you can trust that he’ll give the work his all, won’t fall apart if something goes wrong and (just as important in an office environment) won’t bring everyone else around him down.

Optimists are healthier. Numerous scientific studies have shown optimists live longer and enjoy better health than pessimists. This could be for any number of reasons: because optimists tend to have lower stress levels and lower blood pressure, because they have stronger support systems, even because they’re more likely to take proactive care of themselves.

Pessimists, who are more likely to suffer the physical effects of stress, anger and worry, set themselves up for a bad mood because the worse you feel physically, the harder it is to look on the bright side.

Optimism is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Attitude really can mean everything. For better or for worse, the way we approach the world influences the way the world appears to us. And once we’re set in either a positive or a negative worldview, the way the world reacts to us is influenced, too.

It’s a little thing called “confirmation bias”: whatever lens you chose to see things through, it will show the evidence that supports your perspective. If you go into a day confident it’s going to suck, you’ll be more likely to see only the bad things that happen, thus making yourself more miserable and causing people to react to you differently than they would if you were in a good mood. The cycle of feedback seems to justify your perspective, so you settle even deeper into the bias you’d already decided on having.

The Good News

Fortunately, while we’re all wired to some degree towards certain personality traits, pessimism can be un-learned, just like you can learn to quit smoking. It’s all about reconditioning your brain to respond to circumstances in a more positive manner.

How have you tried to teach yourself to respond positively? Do you find it challenging to be optimistic?

Kelly Gurnett is Assistant Editor of Brazen life and runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook and hire her services as a blogger extraordinaire here.

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The post Why Optimists Will Always Kick Pessimists’ Butts appeared first on Brazen Life.

Are you the guy who always turns his report in late? When the boss stresses in a meeting how important it is to stick to deadlines, do all eyes turn surreptitiously (or not-so-surreptitiously) to you?

Most procrastinators don’t like being “that guy,” but they often feel like their delay is beyond their control. No matter what they do, they just can’t seem to make themselves stay on schedule.

There are all sorts of tips and tricks you can use to try to break your procrastinating ways, but often the best way to end a bad habit is to get to the bottom of why you do it in the first place. There’s a reason behind your constant tardiness, and once you understand it, it’s easier to take steps to change.

Here are some of the most common reasons people put off or delay doing something:

You’re stuck in eternal planning mode. Planning in and of itself isn’t a bad thing. But it becomes counterproductive when you use it to stall.

You’ll never be able to foresee every obstacle that might come up or create the one perfect outline that rules out all flaws and mistakes. So make your initial notes, do a little brainstorming—and then get to work! We often figure out better approaches or have sudden insights in the process of working on a project, which makes your elaborate outline outdated anyway.

You don’t know where to start. If you’ve got a complicated or time-consuming project, figuring out where to dive in first can be daunting. But if you can’t determine a good starting point after a few minutes of staring at a project, it’s best to just dive in and start working your way out from the inside.

Things will become clearer as you actually engage with the work—plus getting an early start gives you the leeway to make a few wrong turns and still get everything done on time. If necessary, work on the project in small chunks to keep yourself from feeling overwhelmed.

You don’t understand the assignment. One of the big causes of employee procrastination is due to poor communication with superiors. If you’ve just been handed a big folder and very vague instructions, don’t bury it under your work pile hoping to figure it out later, and don’t spend hours staring blankly at the documents trying to divine what you’re supposed to do with them.

Even if it makes you feel self-conscious, go back to your boss and ask for clearer instructions. Dragging your feet won’t make the project any clearer.

If you’re worried about looking dumb, you can always couch your question in clever phrasing like, “Just so we’re both on the same page, could you give me the run down on this project again?” and hope that your boss doesn’t see through your ruse. (And if he does? It’s still better than admitting to him two weeks after the due date that you’re not sure what you’re supposed to be doing.)

You’re afraid of making a mistake. I’m going to be the mean realist here and just come out and tell you: you very well might make a mistake. And there is no way you can guarantee you won’t. It’s a downside of being human.

But you know what your boss will hate a lot more than a typo in the first footnote of your report? Not getting the report at all because you’re too busy fretting over perfection.

Need a little more encouragement? Look at facing your fear as a career move; by stepping outside of your comfort zone and challenging yourself to take on something that scares you, you demonstrate the problem-solving skills and initiative that any boss would be pleased to have in an employee.

You’re too prone to distractions. If you’re the sort who can’t see an e-mail notification without instantly clicking over to read your new message, you can easily find yourself nearing a deadline without knowing where the time went. So, sequester yourself. Eliminate all potentials for distraction.

Turn off your phone. Close out of Facebook and Twitter. Turn off all your notifications. If necessary, find a nice empty conference room totally devoid of your usual entertainment options and force yourself to stay there until you’ve gotten a certain amount of work done.

You’re waiting for the “right time.” It’s been a crazy day already; wouldn’t you be better off attacking that project when your head doesn’t hurt/you got more sleep the night before/you had prettier-colored highlighters to really organize your thoughts?

The answer is: No. The time to start it is now. You don’t know what sort of projects might be thrown your way tomorrow, so if you’ve got the time today, then get started.

You’ve delayed it so long it’s become a monster. This is when procrastination becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: The longer you put off an unpleasant or complicated task, the more stressed out it makes you, until suddenly you’re so stressed by the very thought of it you’ve paralyzed yourself.

Just like in the examples above, the best strategy for the Project That’s Become a Monster  is just to roll up your sleeves, cross your fingers and dive in. The longer you wait, the worse it will be.

Better yet, try to get the projects you dread over with first, before they start spinning out of proportion.

Kelly Gurnett runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook and hire her services as a blogger extraordinaire here.

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The post Stop Procrastinating by Understanding WHY You Do It appeared first on Brazen Life.

It used to be that the small-talk questions most likely to make someone uncomfortable were ones like, “Are you seeing anyone?” “When are you going to start having kids already?” and “Have you met your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?”

But if you’re any of the many people working a side hustle, living the slasher lifestyle or otherwise taking an unconventional career route, there’s another question that can put you in an even touchier and more awkward position:

“So, what do YOU do?”

Things Have Changed

It’s an innocent enough question—meant, just like any other small-talk inquiry, to get to know a little bit more about you and your interests.

But for many of us, what we do from 9-to-5 to pay the bills has little to do with who we are, what we enjoy doing or what brings meaning to our lives. In fact, for some of us, our day jobs are actually the least interesting and meaningful aspect of our lives.

Back in the day (you know, in that glorified 1950s picket fence world that wasn’t nearly as ideal as we imagine it being), chances were more likely that what a person did for a living said something about who they were. If you were a salesman, it was probably because you liked people and had a knack for persuasion. You enjoyed it. It spoke to your talents. If you worked at the family corner store, it was probably because the family business was in your blood and had been passed down through generations. You felt proud to be part of the legacy. It gave you a sense of belonging. Your job was your career, and you stayed in it for many proud decades until the time you finally retired.

Nowadays? Not so much.

While there are still some careers that people go into for love of them (teaching, nursing, police work), the majority of us are some variety of paper pusher or number cruncher who do our jobs solely for the paycheck. Our jobs are not “careers.” We didn’t earn our degrees in Philosophy or Women’s Studies with dreams of going into them. They’re just something we’re doing for the time being until we can get onto a path we truly do care about. And chances are we’ll hop through several of these non-career positions over the course of our lifetimes.

So when a new acquaintance asks us what we “do,” we can find ourselves cringing. We don’t want to answer, “Oh, I’m a junior data analyst in the quality assurance division of a sprocket manufacturing company” only to have said new acquaintance reply, “Oh, that’s….nice,” all the while thinking, “Dear God, how boring!” We don’t want to be asked follow-up questions about data analysis or sprockets because the truth is we spend most of our time at our job counting down the hours until we can leave.

What we do says absolutely nothing about who we are.

So, How to Answer?

Some of us stuck in these non-careers are actively trying to get out. We’re freelancing in our off hours. We’re trying to start our own businesses. We’re working, some of us extremely hard, on the dreams that really mean something to us—but we’re not living off them yet. So when that dreaded “What do you do?” question pops us, it can be tough to decide how to answer.

Do we say, “Well, I’m paid to be a data analyst, but what I really enjoy doing is writing?”

Or do we proudly declare, “I’m a writer!” only to have the other person say, “Cool! What have you written?” and find ourselves admitting that so far, we’ve done a few freelance gigs that earned us about 20 bucks a pop? Which ultimately leads to us being found out as a data analyst, because the other person will inevitably wonder how we manage to stay afloat on an income like that.

Or, do we focus solely on the positives, saying, “I’m building up a writing business” and coyly deflecting any (let’s admit it) rather nosey inquiries into the monetary specifics thereof.

How do we spin our answer to focus more on the activities that define us and make our days worthwhile, not the random activities we perform between the hours of 9 to 5?

If you’ve ever found yourself in this kind of situation, how do YOU handle it?

Kelly Gurnett runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook and hire her services as a blogger extraordinaire here.

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The post The New Dreaded Question: So, What Do You Do? appeared first on Brazen Life.

If you work in any sort of office environment, it’s something you can’t avoid: having to make small talk with coworkers you probably would never chat with outside of work.

Whether it’s a random break room run-in, waiting in line for the copier or the dreaded holiday party, there’s no getting away from the fact that you can’t just show up, do your work and leave. Part of being an employee means having to socialize with the people around you. And how you do it can make it either incredibly awkward or moderately enjoyable. (I won’t pretend that it’s fascinating and exciting, because really, it’s still small talk with people you have little in common with.)

Here are some basic tips to make even the most shy, antisocial person capable of pulling off basic office chitchat, whether your coworkers are 25 or 65:

Office small talk dos

Ask questions. It’s often said that the key to being a good conversationalist is being a good listener. People love talking about themselves—so get them talking. Ask them about their family, their hobbies, their pets… then be (or at least act) genuinely interested in their answers. Ask them follow up questions. (“So, how do you manage to write a novel in your spare time?” or “Mary’s a senior? How’s her college hunt going?”)

When people can walk away from a conversation feeling they were incredibly interesting, they’ll think you were the best conversationalist ever.

Collect tidbits about your coworkers. If the receptionist has pictures of her cat all over her desk, there’s a conversation topic made to order. If the guy the next cube over is always talking about the movie he saw that weekend, ask him his thoughts on current releases.

Every person you work with has two or three go-to subjects they’re always happy to talk about, so make mental notes as you interact with them. If you can find a go-to subject you both enjoy, you get double points for the bonding potential.

Compliments are always welcome. If someone’s wearing an interesting necklace, ask them where they got it (and hope it leads to an interesting story!). If you love someone’s hair, ask them where they get it done. You brighten their day, plus get them talking about themselves as recommended in tip number one. Double win. (Even a triple win from a networking standpoint.)

Current events. (With the exception of religion and politics. See below.) You don’t need to read the newspaper from cover to cover. Just watch 20 minutes of Good Morning, America as you eat your breakfast or check out the MSN home page before you sign into your Hotmail account, and you’ll have a handful of topics to discuss with people.

TV, movies, books. Chatting about pop culture can be one of the easiest ways to click with someone if you can find something you both enjoy. Just make sure to steer clear of controversial books like Fifty Shades of Grey or the show Sister Wives.

Local topics. Is an art festival or concert coming up? Are you looking for recommendations for a new restaurant to try out? Talking about things going on in the community around you is another easy way to find common discussion ground.

Sports, sports, sports. If you follow a sport, any sport, and can find someone who does the same, you are set for conversational topics for the rest of your time at your company. I have gleaned this from listening to my sportaholic husband dissect the nuances of fantasy football trades (and fantasy baseball trades, and real-life football drafts) with his friends until my eyes glaze over.

Office Small talk do-not-evers

Religion or politics. Think it goes without saying? It doesn’t. There’s always someone who goes there. Don’t let it be you. Please, for the love of whatever it is you personally believe in, just don’t.

Bonding over bitching. While you can create some camaraderie empathizing over how awful that big deadline was, stay away from too much complaining, gossiping,or otherwise dwelling in the unpleasantries of your workplace. It can be tempting, because everyone loves a good bitch-a-thon about the boss that they hate. But bonding over negativity only makes you go back to work more P.O.’ed than ever.

Try to keep it cheerful. Letting work make you angry when you’re not actually working is an awful habit.

Relationship therapy sessions. If you’ve just had a fight with your boyfriend, if your teen has been getting into trouble with the law, or if you’re cradling any other form of dirty laundry, this is neither the time nor the place to air it. Personal life TMI only makes your coworkers incredibly uncomfortable. (Plus, do you really want your casual coworkers to know about Jimmy’s new rap sheet?)

Health issues. I don’t care how harrowing your trip to the gastroenterologist was; we really (really) don’t want to hear about it. A quick update on how you’re doing if someone asks? That’s perfectly fine. But a blow by blow of all your aches and pains and medical procedures? No. Just no.

Money talk. Whether it’s salaries, bonuses or simply how much you paid for that pair of shoes your coworker complimented, keep it to yourself. It’s impossible to talk money without at least one member of the conversation walking away feeling envious or guilty.

Kids, kids, kids! You’re more than welcome to share Billy’s latest softball triumph or the fact that Katie made honor roll. But if your conversation is all kids, all the time, you’ll find your audience rapidly diminishing. Branch out into other areas of your life—or, better yet, turn the conversation to your partner now and then and ask them some things about their life.

Kelly Gurnett runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook and hire her services as a blogger extraordinaire here.

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The post How to Ace Water Cooler Chat with Coworkers of Any Age appeared first on Brazen Life.

If you’ve been in the workforce for any length of time, chances are you’ve run into one of them—the coworkers who make everyone else’s days miserable. You wish they would just get fired, and maybe someday they will; karma’s gotta come around eventually, right?.

But until then, here are some tips for dealing some of the most common incarnations of The Coworker from Hell – without getting fired yourself.

The Grump

It was cute when Eeyore did it, but not so cute when the middle-aged woman the next cube over sighs, “Well, that figures…” every time the printer jams. You dread asking her anything because you know it will be met with a belabored sigh and the inference that you’re part of the universe’s grand scheme to keep her down.

The best way to deal with The Grump is to kill her with kindness (and then promptly ignore her). Be polite, be upbeat and let every frown and under-the-breath mutter roll right off you.

You will probably never be able to de-grumpifya Grump, but you don’t have to let her bad attitude ruin your day. (Plus, nothing bothers a Grump more than someone who refuses to sympathize with their woes. Not that you’d be so devious as to use cheerfulness as a weapon, but I’m just sayin’…)

The Bully

If you think you’ve outgrown playground politics, think again. Grownups still find plenty of ways to intimidate and exert power over others because they feel insecure about themselves. Taking note of every time you run five minutes past your lunch? Or cc’ing the boss on an e-mail complaining to you about a personal conflict? Office bullies want nothing more than to bring other people down to make themselves look better.

The one and only way to handle an office Bully is to ignore them and take the high road. Don’t respond unless it’s absolutely necessary (as in saving your reputation from that libelous cc).

If you do need to respond, be polite, be respectful and say as little as possible. Bring any potentially work-threatening conflicts to your supervisor’s attention rather than trying to hash them out with the Bully.

Be the grownup—don’t engage, don’t fuel the fire and soon enough the Bully will either get frustrated and bother someone else or cross the line so far that management takes notice.

The Clinger

You took the new girl out for lunch to make her feel welcome, and now she’s waiting for you every day at noon asking, “So, where are we going today?”

You have to be kind with a Clinger. It can be tough making friends at work, and you’ve obviously helped this person feel like they belong. Don’t cut them off altogether; instead, try to gradually extricate yourself from being their 24/7 pal.

Claim other obligations you have to fulfill now and then. Help introduce them to other people in the office. Make it clear that you’re available, but not constantly available. Gently prying yourself from a Clinger’s grip is much more effective than suddenly ignoring them altogether, which can result in an unfortunate “Why do you hate me what did I do how can I make it up to you?!” reaction.

The Chatty Cathy (or Charles)

Your best defense against a chatty coworker is your environment: you’re at work. Just tell them you have work to do.

There are plenty of ways to do this tactfully: “I’m so sorry to have to run, but the boss is expecting that report from me,” or “I hate to cut you off, but I have a deadline.” Preface your exit with a statement that expresses your regret, then get the heck out of there.

Don’t feel bad if you need to interrupt a Chatterbox mid-sentence; some of them don’t leave room to get a word in edgewise. Some won’t even care that you’ve left and will latch on to the next available person without skipping a beat.

Which brings up the dilemma of the Ultimate Chatterbox, the sort that doesn’t get the hint even after you’ve gone back to your desk, sat down and started typing while they continue to regale you. In those cases, the other person has basically decreed that politeness has gone out the window. Continue to type away, refuse to lend even an “Mm-hmm,” even pick up the phone and start making a call if you want to. When the Chatterbox realizes she’s not getting any kind of reaction, she’ll get bored and move on.

The Gossip

The thing to remember with an office Gossip is however much secret enjoyment you get from hearing the latest dish on your boss, you are palling up to the office Gossip. Just because you’ve shared some juicy exchanges doesn’t make you immune to becoming one of their hot topics down the road. (Or from being labeled a gossip yourself if people find out you’ve been swapping stories.)

Be extremely careful what you say around a Gossip. Practice phrases like, “That’s really none of my business” and “I’m sorry; I’ve got work to do right now.” The further away you keep from a Gossip, the better you are. Nothing good ever comes from talking behind people’s backs.

When all else fails

If a coworker is really preventing you from getting your work done, or if they’re acting unethically or harassing you, it’s not tattling to take it to your superiors. Some people are just difficult to work with, but when it crosses the line and reaches any of these extents, you have the right to stand up for yourself. Don’t forget that!

Kelly Gurnett, a.k.a. “Cordelia,” runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do.  You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

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The post How to Cope With Coworkers from Hell appeared first on Brazen Life.

Tax time may be over for 2011, but if you’re a brand new freelancer starting out, your tax time begins now.  So here are some basics you should know when it comes to your new relationship with Uncle Sam. Bear in mind these are general tips meant to educate freelancers just starting out; whether you’ve gone full-time with employees or your freelancing is just a side hustle for now, you should consult a CPA for professional advice and guidance in all cases.

Freelance Taxes 101

Get yourself a good CPA. I never thought I’d be fancy enough to warrant needing an accountant. And I know it seems like a big expense when you’re just starting out. But I’m so grateful a self-employed friend convinced me to visit her CPA.  I had no idea what I was in store for, and knowing I now have someone knowledgeable looking out for my interests is a huge relief for me in this new territory.

Oh, and did I mention that any accountant’s fees you incur in connection with your freelancing can be deductible as “professional expenses?” So there’s really no reason not to get a CPA.

If you make $600+ from any one client, you need to report it. Each client this applies to should provide you with a 1099-MISC form at the end of the year listing how much they’ve paid you, which you then include with your tax return.

If you net $400+ for the year, you have to pay self-employment tax in addition to income tax. This was a particularly nasty surprise for me. If you work for yourself or as a 1099 contractor, you are essentially double-taxed as both an employer and an employee. (I know; way to encourage entrepreneurship, USA!) In my case, that means a solid one-third of every dollar you bring in will go right back to the government.

So, in the wise words of my CPA, “Don’t take that big project you just got paid for and go on vacation with it.” Start setting aside your tax percentage now—ideally in a separate savings account you won’t be tempted to touch—or else you may be unpleasantly surprised when tax time comes.

You now have to pay quarterly. The good news is that if this is your first year of freelancing, and last year you had no freelance income to report, you don’t need to worry about quarterly payments just yet. (Remember, you only have to report if you’ve made more than $600 for any client. So if you started freelancing mid-2011 and only managed to earn $300 for the year, that doesn’t count as reportable income. Your first freelancing year technically starts now in 2012.)

If this is your first year, you can wait till the end of the tax year to file, at which point you can also get a better idea of what your estimated quarterly payments will be next year. After year one, if you expect to owe the government $1,000+ (after deductions), you will be required to make estimated quarterly tax payments.

These will be due on January 15^th, April 15^th, June 15^th, and September 15^th. You don’t have to worry too much about the precision of your estimate; if you estimate too high or too low for any quarter, you can fill out a form to recalculate what you’ll owe the next quarter.

Track your business expenses. The major rules for writing off “home office” and other business expenses (although you’ll want to clear specifics with your CPA) include:

• For a room to be considered a home office, it must be used it solely for business-related activities. (In other words, if you what you have is a home office/kids’ playroom/den, get rid of those slashes.)

• You can deduct things like computers, ink and other office supplies, phone plans, mileage spent driving to a client’s office—anything you need to pay for in order to keep your business running. (Within reason, of course. Getting too deduction-happy can raise red flags you don’t want raised. As always, defer to your CPA’s advice.)

• If you have a dedicated home office, you can also deduct a portion of household expenses like mortgage interest, rent, utilities, and insurance based on what percentage of the square footage of your home is made up by your office.

Solid recordkeeping is so worth your time. Keep a separate insert in your filing cabinet for any potentially deductible expenses so you’re not scrambling at the end of each quarter to track down receipts.

For household expenses like utilities for which you’ll be deducting only a percentage, it’s a good idea to start a running spreadsheet to keep track of what you’re spending over the course of the year. Each month when you pay your heat, electricity and other bills, enter the amounts on the spreadsheet so that come tax time, everything is all there for you to calculate your percentages. It’s a few extra minutes each payday to save you a ton of hassle later on.

Are you just starting out as a freelancer? Tell us about it!

Kelly Gurnett, a.k.a. “Cordelia,” runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do.  You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

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The post Tax Tips to Live By for the First-Time Freelancer appeared first on Brazen Life.

I’m talking about a closet cull, where you go through each item in your wardrobe and systematically toss whatever doesn’t make the cut. It’s a good way to de-clutter and make room for any new clothes you might pick up over the season. But it does more than just keep your closet in order. It can also help your career.

How do you want to be seen?

Whether you’re out there interviewing and want to make a good impression or hoping to turn your ground-floor position into something a little higher up the ladder, how you present yourself makes a difference.

I know that sounds superficial, and it is. Ideally, we’d all live in a world where externals don’t matter and we judge each other solely on our radiant inner souls. But appearances do matter, and there’s no use ignoring that. Ignoring it could actually hurt your chances for success. You might be the best worker in your department, but if your regular work attire is a hoodie and PJ pants, chances are you won’t be earmarked for that recently freed-up corner office.

The way you present yourself to your coworkers and superiors is a statement of who you believe you are and how you believe you ought to be treated. Conveying the image of being put-together makes you appear more capable and confident. Dressing for success can even help you feel more confident.

This year’s spring cleaning is a chance to go through your current work wardrobe and decide how you’d like to be perceived. Get rid of the items that convey the wrong message, and you’re left with a quick, easy to manage closet where every piece works for you.

(And for anyone who’s ever rifled frantically through a crammed closet when they’re running late, having a streamlined wardrobe can be a fantastic sanity saver, too.)

Should it stay or should it go?

If you’re staring dubiously at that shirt in your hand, not sure whether it’s a yay or nay, here are some basic guidelines for deciding which parts of your business wardrobe to cull and which to keep:

What to keep

• Timeless staples like plain pants and solid cardigans that won’t ever really go out of style.
• Basic foundational items (pants, shirts, skirts) in neutral colors that can be paired with anything.
• Versatile items that can be “dressed up” or “dressed down” with a few quick tweaks. Think a basic a-line dress you can wear into the office with heels and a jacket, then transform for a night out by adding some cute boots and flashier accessories.
• Anything that makes you feel absolutely fabulous and all-powerful (granted it doesn’t fall under any of the categories below).

What to toss

• Anything that’s worn, frayed or dingy looking. Even if it’s Casual Friday, that doesn’t mean it’s time to summon your former grunge self and bust out the holey jeans and flannel shirt. Keep it neat and tidy. You want to look respectable, even if you’re not super formal.
• Anything that’s uncomfortable. I don’t care how sharp that crisp button-down looks or how powerful your red heels make you feel; if you’re uncomfortable, it will show. If you’re going to be wearing an item for eight hours straight, it shouldn’t be a distraction or an annoyance.
• Anything dated. Items like shoulder-padded power suits (don’t laugh; I’ve known people who still wear them) make you look out of touch, and the last thing anyone needs in an uncertain job market is to look like a holdover from a past era who hasn’t managed to keep up to speed.
• On the flip side, anything too trendy. It’s better not to invest in anything for work that won’t outlast a season, but if you can’t help but give in to a few tasteful “hot” items, just make sure they don’t stay in your closet past their prime.
• Anything that hasn’t fit in a long time, in the hopes that it might fit again. As Stacey and Clinton would say, dress for the body you have now, not the body you want to have or used to have.
• Anything that just doesn’t feel like “you.” Just because something fits and looks good on you doesn’t mean you have to wear it. It goes back to the “being comfortable” point; if you feel fantastic in your clothes, you’ll exude more ease and confidence (and you’ll feel a lot better, too).

Kelly Gurnett, a.k.a. “Cordelia,” runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do.  You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

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It’s a dream many of us have: launching a side business in our spare time that will one day grow so big we can officially quit our 9-5.

I’ve been living the day job/side hustle double life for six months now, and I’ve come to realize it’s not quite the glamorous vision I had when I first started (which largely involved me banging away at the keyboard at 2 a.m. while “She Works Hard for the Money” played inspiringly in the background).

If you’re genuinely interested in joining the league of side hustlers, I’d like let you know you’re getting into:

Work is still work. I adore writing, editing and anything related thereto — so freelance writing and editing truly is my “dream job.” But work — even work you love — is still hard, and just because you enjoy doing it doesn’t mean it won’t be exhausting at times. Especially if you’re trying to squeeze it into the evenings and weekends around a full-time job.

Be prepared for some resentment and frustration. Be prepared to get tired of the thing you love sometimes. It doesn’t mean you’re on the wrong path or that you don’t still love it. It just means it’s work. And work isn’t always fun.

Get used to 24/7. You know to expect some late nights and early mornings when you’re trying to pull off a side hustle in addition to a regular job. But you’d better get used to juggling this new, always-on schedule, because even if you manage to make your side hustle a full-time gig, the hours probably won’t change all that much. It might be a little less stressful because you won’t be torn between two sets of schedules, but a work-for-yourself life often requires you be available far more than at a traditional 9-5.

You will suddenly find a million previously dull things infinitely interesting. When you finally make the commitment to attack your side hustle for real, you will suddenly find yourself deeply compelled to attend to all sorts of random things instead o f your side hustle. This is the result of several factors: fear at failing if you begin, passive-aggressive resentment of all the work ahead of you, procrastinating because you’re not sure where to start.

A priorities list is your best friend as a side hustler. Not a To Do list (which just lets you pile up tons of things you’ll feel guilty about never getting around to), but a simple, actionable list of the 2-3 big things you need to accomplish that day. Get those done first, then worry about the rest if you have time. No matter how psyched you suddenly are to tackle that loose tile in the basement you’ve been ignoring for 10 years.

You will wonder why you’re doing it. Wouldn’t it just be easier to go back to the way things were? Were they really so bad? At least then I had some down time…

These are some of the things you will find yourself thinking, secretly in the back of your mind, even though you feel guilty about it. Because hustling is hard. It takes a lot of persistence, prioritizing, and sheer moxy to pull off. It’s only natural that at some point you’ll find yourself longing for the days when you could leave work behind once 5 p.m. hit, go home, and zone out in front of Dancing with the Stars with no other care in the world.

My strategy when this false nostalgia hits? Reminding myself why I started my hustle in the first place: Because I was miserable with the way things were before.

Other people will second-guess you. You’ve already got a job. You deserve a little rest. Be honest — are you ever really going to get this business off the ground?

These are some of the things your well-meaning friends and family will say to you when they find out what you’re trying to do. If they say them around the same time you’re saying similar things to yourself, it will be especially tough.

But hold to your dreams. You embarked on this crazy quest for a reason; keep reminding yourself of what that is, and don’t let the well-meaning naysayers discourage you.

You’ll get a glimpse of what you’re in for (and whether you’re cut out for it). Most people launch a side hustle in the hopes of one day working for themselves (cue to images of sipping mimosas on a beach with a laptop on your sun-warmed legs).

But the truth is that working for yourself isn’t necessarily easy; it’s just a different kind of challenge than being “in the grind.” It requires a whole different skill set of dedication, discipline and hard work. Which is why a side hustle is a great trial period for anyone thinking of working for themselves.

It gives you a chance to see what you’re getting yourself in for and to decide whether it’s right for you before you cut all ties with your steady paycheck. It gives you a chance to learn important self-employment skills like how to juggle multiple priorities, manage your energy and develop a work-life balance that works for you.

Mastering a side hustle may be a challenge, but if you dream of something better, it’s a great way to test the waters.

Kelly Gurnett, a.k.a. “Cordelia,” runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

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The post Looking to Launch a Side Hustle? Here’s What You’re Really In For appeared first on Brazen Life.

Let’s just say we both have plenty of experience dealing with angry people.

And when you’ve done it enough, you do more than just build up a thick skin — you also learn a few strategies that help bring a hostile person down to earth. Whether you’re faced with an upset client, a co-worker meltdown, or one of those bosses who communicates solely by yelling, keeping these pointers in mind can help de-escalate even the most volatile of situations.

Kill ’em with kindness. It’s hard to maintain a good rage when you’re faced with someone who insists on remaining calm, polite and reasonable. Not sickly-sweet, I’m-only-being-uber-nice-to-irritate-you-more, mind you. (We’ve all done it at one point or another.) But genuinely nice.

Let them vent. Let them know you’re on their side. Statements like, “I understand,” “That must be so frustrating,” and “Let’s see what we can do to fix this” can go a long way towards making someone feel heard and understood.

But, be firm. Be patient and empathetic — but also know where to draw the line. If someone is so irate you clearly won’t get anywhere with them, you need to politely but firmly let them know this is unacceptable. If things get out of hand, don’t be afraid to tell someone that if they can’t conduct themselves professionally, you will hang up or walk away.

Some people use anger as a battling ram, hoping to get their way simply by beating their opponent into submission. Make it clear that they won’t achieve anything by being hostile.

Resist the urge to fight back. Holding your ground and being the bigger man are all well and good — but sometimes you can’t help but feel angry when you’re being vehemently cursed at. Whatever you do, don’t resort to anger yourself. It never leads anywhere good.

Just like above, don’t be afraid to remove yourself from the situation if you start to feel too caught up. If it’s a phone call, transfer the call to someone else who can field it or ask to call the person back when you can both discuss this more rationally. If it’s an in-person confrontation, simply say you need some air before you lose your cool, and excuse yourself.

Try to respect the person. This can be difficult when someone is throwing a literal temper tantrum. But talking down to someone who’s upset only makes them more upset.

Remember that everyone is human, remember how you feel when you get upset, and force yourself to talk to the person as if they’re a reasonable, respectable adult — even if they’re acting like a screaming, out-of-control toddler.

Listen for the real problem. You might be tempted to jump in as soon as there’s a pause to counter a point, offer reassurance or explain your side. But take the time to really listen to what the person is saying.

Oftentimes people aren’t angry people for the reason we think they are. Your client may be complaining about a $2 surcharge on an invoice, but deep down, what’s really bothering him is that you haven’t been returning his calls as promptly as you should. Try reflecting back what he’s saying to get to the root of the problem: “It sounds like you’re upset with _______” or “So what you’re saying is, you’d like to see_______.”

Speak slowly. It might sound silly, but keeping your voice soft and speaking in a careful, measured tone can do wonders to diffuse a tense situation. Think of the public speaking tip that you should always speak a little slower than feels natural to you. Talking too quickly can make you sound nervous, frustrate the other person and only adds to the general air of franticness.

Don’t take it personally. If the problem isn’t something you created, remind yourself that the person isn’t mad at you directly — they’re mad at your company, at the stress of the project, at the fact that they didn’t get enough sleep last night. Distance yourself from any feelings of resentment or offense that will only add to the negativity.

But, if the problem is something you created…

Apologize, genuinely. We all make mistakes. As my boss wisely told me in my first year at the firm (after a pretty dumb mistake I’d made), “The important thing is that you acknowledge it immediately and do whatever it takes to make things right.”

This means putting on your big girl panties, your grownup hat, or whatever other metaphorical accessory you choose, and biting the bullet. Don’t make excuses. Don’t try to bargain or justify. Just apologize, genuinely and promptly, and ask what you can do to rectify the situation. In some cases, that will make you look more professional than anything else.

Let it go. Sometimes even the most seasoned customer service reps can’t hang on to that particularly irate customer. It’s OK. Just know you did your best and try not to let it get to you. (It gets easier with practice, I can promise you.)

Kelly Gurnett, a.k.a. “Cordelia,” runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

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The post How to Deal with Angry People (or Wisdom from the Customer Service Industry) appeared first on Brazen Life.

How’s a harried worker to avoid being overwhelmed?

Create a solid anti-stress arsenal. You may not have control over the demands of your job, but you do have control over yourself and, to a certain extent, your immediate surroundings.

Here are some must-have items to keep you from going under when things get hectic:

First Things First

One of the best ways to combat stress is making sure you’re not unintentionally adding to it. This starting checklist can go a long way towards making things less frantic than they need to be:

Organization, organization, organization. Not only does a messy desk make it infinitely harder to keep on top of your tasks or find things when you need them; a visually messy environment makes you feel more stressed than a neat one.

Use inboxes, folders, and trays to keep the piles on your desk in order. Know where your action items are at all times. Make things easier on yourself by having a workspace that’s under control — even when everything around you isn’t.

Light. A dim workspace can make you feel groggy and create eye strain. Make sure your work areas are well-lit (but not too bright). Soft, indirect lighting is a good way to go.

Comfort. The human body wasn’t meant to sit in one position for eight hours a day — and it will let you know that. Poor posture and repetitive movements can lead to everything from back pain to tension headaches.

Fortunately, there’s an ergonomic everything now — keyboards, mouse pads, footrests, chair cushions. Get some comfy gear and visit resource sites to make sure you’re not stressing out your body in addition to your brain.

Fuel. Stock your desk with healthy, energy-packed snacks and be sure to drink plenty of (noncarbonated, non-sugary) fluids throughout the day. Flying and crashing on waves of caffeine and vending machine candy won’t make any day easier.

Toolkit Must-Haves

Alright, you’ve got the groundwork laid. Here are some basic tools to have on hand for when the crazy times hit:

Happiness-Inducing Pictures. Whether it’s a collage of your beloved pets or a screensaver of your favorite vacation spot, surround yourself with images of the people, places and things that make you smile. It will lift your spirits and can help you hang in there by reminding you you have a (much pleasanter) life outside of work.

Quality Tunes. If you can wear headphones, crank up whatever makes you feel a little less stabby — whether it’s some soothing Michael Bublé or the most cathartic Rage Against the Machine you can find. If you can’t wear headphones, try playing some (office-appropriate) radio (at a respectable level). Music makes the time pass faster and can be a huge mood booster.

Indulgent Drinks. No, I’m not condoning adult indulgent drinks. (This is a professional community here.) I’m talking more along the lines of exotic chai, soothing green tea, or rich hot chocolate. Sipping a comfort beverage in the midst of a hectic day can calm your nerves and reinvigorate you.

Stretching. Even with an ergonomic setup, sitting at a computer for eight hours straight builds up tension throughout your body. Take a pause every now and then to release some of that pent-up stress. Let your clenched jaw go slack. Stretch out your keyboard-cramped hands and wrists. Find some great stretches (and exercises) you can do right at your desk.

Breathing. It’s one of the oldest tricks in the relaxation book because it works. Try some of these deep breathing exercises to regain your physical and mental composure.

Moving. It’s easy to get sucked into a stressful project and lose all sense of space and time. Physically stepping away from your desk can help clear your head and reset your composure when you’ve entered the work wormhole.

Take a walk up to the second floor to deliver that memo, stroll over to the water cooler, or even just stand up and shake out your limbs for a few seconds — anything to break your concentration and release a little of that stressed-out energy.

Bathroom Breaks. Don’t laugh. They work. When all else fails, no one can fault you for excusing yourself and disappearing into the restroom for a minute or two. If things really start to overwhelm you, give yourself a chance to escape and pull yourself back together.

What’s in your anti-stress arsenal?

Kelly Gurnett, a.k.a. “Cordelia,” runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do.  You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

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The post Stressed at Work? Build Yourself an Anti-Stress Arsenal appeared first on Brazen Life.

These people get on our nerves, ruin our days, even make us dread coming in to the office at all.

But what if you’re “that guy” to your co-workers?

Don’t think it’s possible? Check out this list of common workplace annoyers and see if any of them sound familiar:

The Guy Who Comes in to Work Sick. Yes, you’re a dedicated little trooper for dragging yourself in sniffling and hacking. But think of your poor, defenseless co-workers. Showing up when you’re sick only makes you feel worse and exposes all of your co-workers to your germs.

Stay home, have some soup, and keep that flu to yourself, please.

The Gossiper. I know; you’d never gossip. Most of us don’t think we do; we know it’s mean and childish. But anything you say about someone who isn’t in the room with you qualifies as gossip. Few of us launch secret campaigns against our co-workers, but plenty of us say things like “Guess who took another vacation day?” and “Did you see what Sheila’s wearing today?”

One simple rule to follow: If you wouldn’t say something to someone’s face, don’t say it behind their back.

The Guy Who Made the Dress Code Necessary. Here are some things you should never display at work, no matter how “business casual” your office is: cleavage, Crocs, holes or tears, sweat pants, jean shorts, tiaras on your birthday (or any other form of overdressing/teenage regression).

There are no exceptions that make these things OK. Just Say No, we all beg of you.

The Guy Who Acts Like a Wannabe Celeb. Unless you’re Tom Haverford from Parks and Recreation, you are not being cool and charming by using phrases like “broseph,” “OMG,” or fist-bumping in normal office conversation. Actually, even Tom Haverford is charming only because he’s so ridiculous he’s funny. Take a look at him; he’s a great sitcom character, but would you want to be his cube neighbor 40 hours a week?

The Guy Everyone Else Has to Pick Up After. If the copier runs out of paper on your project, refill it for the next person. Clean up your spills in the break room. It’s common courtesy. Don’t make us tape up the cheesy “your mom doesn’t work here” sign.

The One-Upper. Empathizing with someone’s situation creates camaraderie. We all like to hear that someone knows what we’re going through. But if you find yourself wanting to counter your co-worker’s story about her awful mother-in-law with a story about how awful your family is, reign it in. It’s small talk, not a competition.

The TMI Guy. Have people in the cubes around you asked about your fight with your girlfriend — when you never told anyone about it? It might be a sign you’re not using your “indoor voice” on the phone. And that you might want to conduct sensitive personal calls on your own time.

The Awful Emailer. It’s Email 101: Don’t put the contents of an email in the subject line. Don’t “reply all” at whim. And please, for the love of god, no pink italic inspirational quotes in your signature block. (I trust I don’t even have to mention emoticons.)

The Antisocial Guy. Most of us don’t love grocery store birthday cake or giving long accounts of our weekend activities. But you should at least show up now and then, say hello, or ask how someone’s hobby/family/etc. is going. (If you can’t think of one single hobby, family member, or other personal detail about your co-worker, that’s a good sign you might be this guy.)

You don’t have to be BFFs with everyone, but you spend most of your time with these people; why not at least be friendly and pleasant? It makes the time go by faster — and it makes you easier to work with.

Aack! I Am That Guy!

Are you guilty of any of the above annoyances? The first step to getting better is realizing you have a problem.

You don’t need to find another job or start baking cupcakes to entice your co-workers to like you again. (Another common peeve is people who bring in goodies and throw everyone off their diets, so I’d steer clear of that one.) You just have to be a little more considerate.

Try to be the kind of person you’d want to work with. It’s not that hard, and it’s never too late to start over. At least you’re not Crazy Cat Picture Lady.

Kelly Gurnett, a.k.a. “Cordelia,” runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

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The post Are You That Oh-So-Annoying Guy in Your Office? appeared first on Brazen Life.

Well, I’m here to tell you: It’s OK to ask. We don’t know everything, and it’s alright to admit that. Sometimes it’s actually your best strategy.

When you can – and should – ask for help:

When you’re not clear on the details of a project. Some bosses expect you to be a mind reader. They dump a pile of illegible notes on your desk, tell you a report is due on Monday, and walk away, leaving you completely clueless as to what the report is supposed to be about or which project it’s even for.

They’re often just incredibly busy and don’t stop to consider their instructions may have been less than clear. Some bosses have mile-a-minute brains and think they’ve already told you what to do. Whatever the reason, you can sit around staring at the notes for two hours and panicking over where to start, or you can just go up to your boss, put on a professional face, and say, “I’m sorry to bother you, but I’m hoping to get a little more clarification on this project. What specifically do you need me to do?”

Or better yet, try to ask him right when he dumps the notes on your desk — if you can catch him fast enough.

When you’re not clear on priorities or deadlines. Most of us have piles of projects to juggle, so knowing the urgency for each task is crucial to making sure everything gets done on time. If you’re not clear on a deadline, ask.

Maybe that “emergency” someone threw in your lap can actually wait till Monday. Maybe that status report a co-worker casually requested you write up is actually due in an hour because the client’s coming in. Always, always make sure you know which projects need doing when. That’s working 101.

When “figuring it out yourself” will take way too much time. There are some aspects of my job that I can figure out on my own — and that I’m expected to figure out on my own. If I’m filing a pleading in a new court district (I’m a paralegal) and I’m not sure on their procedures, I can look up their rules on their website, call the court clerk, etc. I’m paid, to a certain extent, to take initiative, save attorneys the hassle of details, and just “get it done.”

But if one of the cases I’m handling involves some complicated real estate issues, and we have a thoroughly experienced and knowledgeable real estate paralegal on staff, it makes a heck of a lot more sense for me to stop by her office and ask her for a quick lesson on what I need to know.

Use your resources — and your resourcefulness — wisely. Picking the brain of someone with expertise can save you time and guarantee you get the most accurate information. Most people are flattered to be asked for their advice, anyway.

When you really, really don’t know what you’re doing. This one can be the most difficult since we all hate to call attention to our weak areas. But you know what makes you look even worse? Spending forever muddling your way through something you don’t understand, turning it in late, and then finding out you’ve done nothing the way you were supposed to.

I recently took over the administration of a large estate that’s nothing like anything I’ve ever done before. I was paralyzed by every phone call I had to make to gather basic information, because every inquiry resulted in all sorts of follow-up questions I couldn’t begin to answer. So I put off making the calls. And the stress just built up the more I dragged my feet.

What finally solved my problem? Admitting that I had no idea what I was doing. If I called someone to ask for a figure on one of the estate’s financial accounts, and they started asking me for specifics in terms I didn’t even recognize, I was completely upfront with them. I told them this was my first time working on a file like this, that I was learning as I went along, and would they be so kind as to bear with me and explain what it was they needed from me? I was amazed at how friendly and willing to help most people were once I put myself out there (and put myself at the mercy of their kindness).

I’m a smart, capable worker, so I knew that once I learned the basics, I’d be adept at them. If you admit to the loopholes in your knowledge with that confidence in mind, you’re not making yourself look any weaker or less able. You’re just admitting you don’t know everything, and there’s nothing wrong with that. The only way to learn is to ask.

Kelly Gurnett, a.k.a. “Cordelia,” runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

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I felt this way myself until I read Quitter: Bridging the Gap Between Your Day Job and Your Dream Job. Author Jon Acuff lays out some pretty interesting arguments for why staying in your day job as long as possible can actually benefit your dream.

I know; I wasn’t a fan of the idea myself at first. But take a look at his arguments and decide for yourself:

How your day job can actually help you achieve your dream job

It offers security. Yes, “security” is pretty much a bad word to dreamers — akin to “settling” and “selling out.” But the truth is, it’s hard to pursue your dream full tilt when you’re constantly worrying where your next meal will come from or how you’re going to pay the electric bill next month.

Having your day-to-day needs met by a steady paycheck frees up your attention for your dream in a way that’s almost impossible when you’re operating in pure survival mode.

It gives you structure. There’s some real truth in the saying, “If you want something done, give it to a busy person.” When I’m forced to squeeze writing into the hours between and around my day job, I’m pretty good at keeping myself on task and really pounding out the words. I’m already in “work” mode, and since I know this is the only time I’ve got to get “my” stuff done, I really make it count.

Contrast this to the Fridays I took off over the summer (my so-called “writing Fridays”), when I wound up getting a ton of work done around the house, caught up on lots of HGTV and futzed around with my blog widgets — pretty much everything but writing.

I really thought having unlimited time would let my muse run rampant. Instead, I learned just how easily distracted I am when left to my own devices.

Sure, it is possible to develop a consistent and disciplined routine when you’re working on your own terms. But it’s best to ease yourself into the transition rather than jump into it all at once, only to find yourself floundering in the midst of too much free time too fast.

It provides the freedom to experiment. Any new venture has a learning curve. You’ll try some things that don’t work so well; you’ll try some things that fail spectacularly. If your dream job is your financial be-all and end-all, these ups and downs can be devastating — for you, and for any family members who also depend on your income.

But if you stick around in your day job until you’ve worked out the kinks in your dream, you can afford to make all those newbie mistakes without worrying that you’ve just lost the mortgage payment for the month. You can see failures as the learning experiences they are, dust yourself off, and try again, without suffering dire financial consequences.

It gives you discretion. Acuff calls this the power to say no. If your dream is the only thing putting food on the table, you’re much more likely to take that low-paying assignment or off-topic speaking gig because you need to do whatever you can to bring in some money. Already having the financial bit taken care of gives you the ability to turn down less-than-ideal opportunities and focus only on the projects that will truly advance your dream.

If my dreams (writing and freelancing) were my only sources of income, you’d better believe my blog would be covered in blinking sponsor ads and I’d be selling my time at $5/hour to any content mill that would have me. But they’re not. So I get to say no to the advertisers who clearly contribute nothing to my readership. (You want me to promote your electronic cigarettes? Have you even read my blog?)

I get to focus on a few quality freelance assignments, knowing I’m building a respectable portfolio, and let someone else slave away for hours rewriting the same article five times for different sets of SEO keywords. My day job allows me this integrity, and for that, I am honestly grateful.

Day job as sponsor, not adversary

When you consider it from these angles, your day job is actually more of a patron for your dreams than a mortal enemy. I have to say, as someone currently living the day job/dream job double life, this can be a nice change of perspective.

When I sit down to my desk in the morning seeing the next eight hours as a way of funding my dream, it’s a heck of a lot better than seeing them as a colossal waste of time. That doesn’t mean I don’t still get a wicked case of the Mondays from time to time, but it sure helps.

Kelly Gurnett, a.k.a. “Cordelia,” runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do.  You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

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The post Want to Follow Your Dream? Don’t Quit Your Day Job appeared first on Brazen Life.

That’s the premise behind Cali Ressler and Jody Thompson’s Results-Only Work Environment (ROWE) initiative. They believe the modern workplace is cluttered with regulations, expectations and antiquated practices that have nothing to do with the actual work we’re supposed to be doing. In fact, these things usually interfere with it.

ROWE seeks to change this by focusing on the one and only thing that really matters: getting the work done, and doing it well.

What ROWE is (and isn’t)

ROWE is different than flex-time and work-from-home programs, which still operate on traditional metrics of time tracking and accountability. It’s more of an anti-program, really. There’s no time-keeping, no mandatory attendance, no need to explain yourself if you work better in the evenings or want to take an afternoon off to watch your kids play softball.

In a ROWE, the only thing employees are measured by is the results they produce. How they do their work, where they do their work, and when they do their work is their prerogative. As long as the boss sees projects completed well and on time, it’s no questions asked.

When you stop and think about it, it seems kind of ridiculous that everyone doesn’t already work this way.

What ROWE does differently

Here’s a quick breakdown of the benefits of focusing on results only:

Workers are more efficient. It’s a generally accepted truth that work expands to fill the time allotted for it. If you have to be at the office for eight hours each day, you’ll find a way to keep yourself busy, whether it’s dragging out that report you’re writing or spending some time in Farmville. It’s a waste of both the company’s time and yours.

Disruptions disappear. Gone are the aspects of “work” that interfere with actually doing your work. So much of our workday is filled with distractions that have nothing to do with producing results. Co-workers stopping by to chit-chat. Meetings that last forever but resolve nothing. Hour-long commutes in rush-hour traffic. All this nonsense is eliminated in a ROWE, so you’re free to focus on simply doing the job you were hired to do.

Employees get their lives back. In this age of 24/7 availability, the lines between work and home are blurred. (Ask anyone with a Blackberry connected to their work email.) ROWE gives employees the ability to control their work-life balance whatever way works best for them.

Attend a conference call by cell as you pick up your dry cleaning. Write a report on your laptop while you watch your kids at the playground. Instead of trying to compartmentalize “work” and “personal” time on someone else’s terms — and feeling guilty when neither area gets your full attention — employees are able to live whole, integrated lives on their terms.

Adults are treated like adults. Do we really need someone telling us when to take our lunch break or how many days we’re “allowed” to get sick? We’re grownups. We manage households, finances and families, all with no supervision and no employee handbook to keep us in line. Being treated like we’re 10 and can’t be trusted is insulting — and resentment doesn’t fuel an employee’s best performance.

Sure, some employees really do need someone glancing over their shoulders, but ROWE is good for that, too, as you’ll discover in the next point.

The wheat is cut from the chaff. One of the biggest concerns about ROWE is that people will take advantage of the system (or lack thereof). But the nice thing is that in a ROWE, those kinds of people are exposed pretty darn fast.

Let’s face it: some employees are really good at playing the 9-to-5 game. They’re masters of office politics, nodding enthusiastically at every meeting, chipping in for every birthday/retirement/shower gift, coming in 15 minutes earlier and staying 15 minutes longer than everyone else (and making sure you know exactly who isn’t as punctual as they are). What do they actually do all day? Who knows? But they’re model employees!

Refreshingly, none of this is worth a wooden nickel in a ROWE. If you don’t produce results, you’re out. And as an employer, wouldn’t you want to know who your “good” workers really are?

Employers win, too. Happy employees are better employees. Disgruntled and burnt-out employees won’t give much more than the bare minimum needed to collect their paychecks. But empowered, satisfied and respected workers are inclined to actually care about their work, to feel like their efforts matter and to want to deliver the best results possible.

It’s a win-win.

Want to learn more about ROWE? Check out Ressler and Thompson’s book, Why Work Sucks and How to Fix It: The Results-Only Revolution, or visit the ROWE website.

Kelly Gurnett, a.k.a. “Cordelia,” runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do.  You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

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The post ROWE: The Grown-Up Version of Work appeared first on Brazen Life.

I was expecting those comments, because I work in 9-to-5 corporate America myself. I’ve skipped plenty a lunch, stayed late and taken work home on the weekends. Many of us are under almost impossible workloads and expected to produce even more — preferably by yesterday. So we manage the only way we know how: by racing against the clock to cram as much work into each day as humanly possible.

Unfortunately, all doing and no pausing does not make Jack a good worker. It actually makes him a worse worker as the day wears on.

The Trouble with Always Go-Go-Going

The inescapable truth is that humans need breaks — moments to refuel, recharge and refocus — or else we end up burned out, frazzled and no good to anyone, our jobs included.

News flash: we are not machines. We don’t have endless reserves of energy (mental, physical or emotional). Sure, we can work for eight hours straight without stopping, but the quality of what we produce will inevitably take a nosedive. We get tired and irritable. We have trouble concentrating. We make careless mistakes.

Whatever our corporate culture (and our bosses) might tell us, taking a break is not a luxury. It’s a necessity, especially if we want to continue doing our jobs to the best of our ability.

Life is a Series of Sprints, Not a Marathon

My attitude towards productivity changed radically when I read The Power of Full Engagement: Managing Energy, Not Time, is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal.

It’s written by Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz, two executive business trainers who started their business by working with athletes to help them reach peak performance. What they learned from this work was paradigm-changing: The best athletes weren’t necessarily the ones who pushed themselves the hardest for the longest time. The best athletes were the ones who had developed effective energy management strategies that incorporated efficient periods of rest.

In other words, it was what these athletes did between exertions that made them successful. They knew that to keep performing at top level, they had to pause to recharge their batteries and regain their balance. So they developed resting routines to maximize in-between time.

Tennis players, for instance, used refocusing techniques between sets. No matter what had happened in the previous set, no matter how much pressure they were under, taking the time to disengage enabled them to shake it off and start fresh, focusing only on the moment at hand. Even something as simple as pausing to take a sip of water could be an opportunity to refocus.

It’s the same thing for worker bees. We can’t constantly push ourselves and expect consistent results if we don’t also allow our minds and bodies a chance to disengage and regroup. We have to allow ourselves time to breathe, even if it’s only for a few minutes.

“But You Don’t Understand; I Seriously Don’t Have the Time!”

Okay, so an hour-long lunch may not be feasible for you. But no matter how busy you are, you can always find a way to steal a few moments to rest and refocus. Every little bit helps.

Loehr and Schwartz were amazed to find that some sprinters they worked with had found a way to maximize the mere seconds they had as they walked back to the starting line between races. They developed a ritual of taking the same number of measured steps, breathing in the same number of deep breaths, so that when the next race started, their heart rate was lower and their focus was sharper than their competitors’. In just seconds, those sprinters gave their bodies the chance to reset as much as possible for the next push.

You, too, can find small opportunities to rest, even in the busiest of days. Maybe you can spare five minutes to walk to the break room to refill your coffee? Or pause for two minutes between one project and the next to refocus? At least take a trip to the restroom. (If you can’t afford even a bathroom stop, then seriously, please start looking for another job.)

Use any break you can find to escape and “reset.” Take some deep, yoga-worthy abdominal breaths. Do some stretches. Relax your shoulders, your jaw muscles, your mind. Sip some water. Visualize something soothing.

Allowing yourself a little time to pause in the midst of your work can do wonders for your productivity and your sanity. So do yourself — and your job — a favor, and pause with me for just a few seconds to take three deep, long breaths. One… two… three.

Now, isn’t that better?

Kelly Gurnett, a.k.a. “Cordelia,” runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do.  You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

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The post Forget Time Management — Energy Management is What Matters appeared first on Brazen Life.

But after a decade of personal assisting, I can tell you that everything a good assistant does can be summed up in one simple philosophy: Keep things running smoothly, and make everyone’s lives easier.

It’s a philosophy, a game plan, more than a particular skill set. Anyone can learn to be a kick-ass personal assistant with the right strategies. And here’s the great news for you: anyone can apply these strategies to their own lives to enjoy the less chaotic, more manageable existence that a good personal assistant brings you. No salary payments required.

How to Be Your Own Personal Assistant

Systems are your best friend

Processing your mail, paying your bills, doing chores — You name it, a system can make it infinitely easier.

To really stick, your systems should be easy and intuitive. My “mail processing” area is my kitchen counter, where I naturally put the mail anyway when it comes in. It includes a sorter for arranging bills in order of due date (which I then pay according to my billing system), a trash can for junk mail, and a spot for things that need to be filed away (which I file every night).

It may take a little time to set up initially, but a good system becomes second nature after a while. Suddenly tasks that used to be huge time sucks — or never got done at all — almost seem to take care of themselves.

Write everything down

I mean everything. Life is hectic and has a zillion moving parts, which means it’s incredibly easy to forget anything at any time. Do this regardless of how smart you are.

If your doctor’s office gives you one of those little lose-able cards with your next appointment on it, write the date on your calendar the instant you get home. If you think of a brilliant idea for your side project in the middle of a meeting, do not listen to that little voice in your head saying, “There’s no way you’ll forget that, it’s way too important.” Write. It. Down. Calendars, Post It notes and portable notebooks are your second best friends.

Have a place for everything — and make sure it stays there. Keep like items together. Organize them in a way that makes sense to you. And at the end of each day, take 10-15 minutes to pick up anything that’s strayed from its home and put it back where it belongs (a fantastic tip I got from Gretchen Rubin’s book The Happiness Project). A little bit of maintenance every day prevents chaos down the road.

Touch everything only once

Mind out of the gutters, you! In the assistant world, this refers to paperwork — you open a letter, you process that letter, you file that letter away. Nothing lingers forever in an inbox. Nothing gets put on a to-do pile that never gets to-done. See it, deal with it and get it off your desk.

Life-wise, this applies to all kinds of things. Sort your mail when it comes in and take whatever action needs to be taken, right then. Put your groceries away the instant you get home. Fold your laundry as soon as it comes out of the dryer. Another great trip from Gretchen: If something takes less than a minute to do, just do it, then and there. Putting things off only makes them more frustrating and, ultimately, time-consuming.

Stay one step ahead

Set reminders for yourself a week before important deadlines so they don’t creep up on you. Shop for a present when you get that party invite, rather than waiting till the day of the get-together. Start setting aside the clothes you’ll need for an upcoming trip a week in advance, so you don’t realize on packing day that half of what you wanted to bring is waiting to be washed.

Anticipate shortcomings. A good assistant knows her boss never checks his inbox on Friday afternoons, so if an urgent fax comes in, she walks into his office and hands it to him. Similarly, I know I always forget things when I’m rushing out the door in the morning, so if I’m the one bringing in Mary Anne’s birthday cake tomorrow, I make sure to put a nice big Post It that screams “CAKE!!!” right on top of my purse tonight.

Nobody is perfect. A good assistant sees the weak spots and sets up ways to safeguard against them.

Your Takeaway

Being your own personal assistant is all about making things easier for yourself. By developing systems, looking ahead and staying organized, you can take control of the flurry of demands and responsibilities that come at you every day. You can deal with them in a manner that’s less stressful, more efficient and much, much more pleasant.

You’ll still have to get your own coffee, though. (Sorry.)

Kelly Gurnett, a.k.a. “Cordelia,” runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do.  You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

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The post Life Hacks from a Personal Assistant appeared first on Brazen Life.

Which in and of itself is her prerogative. But she didn’t even seem to be enjoying herself. She seemed bored out of her mind, actually.

Now, I have nothing against using your lunch break to decompress. But there’s quality time (time that rejuvenates, refreshes, relaxes), and there’s just plain killing time. And I kill enough of my time with my actual work, thank you very much. When it comes to my one hour of “me” time, I want to do something worthwhile with it — and you should, too.

Better ways to spend your lunch break

There are two ways to approach your lunch hour: the Rest-and-Relax approach, and the Get-Shit-Done approach. So rather than building up your Farmville stock, try these ideas on your lunch break. Unless Farmville really, truly makes you happy, in which case, farm away!

The R&R lunch

You work hard enough the other hours of your day, so you need your lunch for “down time.” Understandable. Here are some ways to relax, recharge, and return to work a little better off:

Read a good book. (Or magazine or blog.) Pick one you really enjoy, something that inspires you or engrosses you or makes you laugh till coffee comes out your nose.

Take a nap. If you’ve got an office door you can close, a break room that’s relatively empty, or even a comfy pillow in your car, a midday nap can be just the reset you need to make it through the rest of the day. Just make sure to have some sort of timer (like an alarm on your phone) so you don’t blissfully nap away the rest of the afternoon.

Watch a show. With the wonders of websites like Hulu, you can catch up on your favorite shows from anywhere. A little Parks & Rec in the middle of the workday? Why, I think I will!

Go for a stroll. Most of us spend our days hunched over desks in fluorescently lit offices. Getting out in the fresh air and stretching your legs can do wonders to boost your mood and your energy level. Plus you’re getting in some exercise — go you! Organize a walking group with your co-workers for bonus social points.

Get outside, period. It doesn’t have to be active. Just sitting under a tree for 15 minutes can make you feel infinitely better after being cooped up in an office all morning.

Catch up with friends. Meet someone for lunch, write some e-mails, make some phone calls. Remind yourself of the world outside your office.

Listen to good tunes. Whether it’s heavy metal to release stress or Barry Manilow to make you feel all calm and happy, tune into the music that speaks to you and lose yourself for a while.

Get a massage. This is the ultimate way to R&R on your lunch break. In fact, I kinda want to do this myself now…

Play a game — if you really enjoy it. I don’t want to hate on computer games, because they can be a good way to entertain yourself and give your brain a rest in the midst of a hectic day. Just please, if you find yourself starting to resent the mere sight of an angry bird, find something else to do for a little while. I’m begging you.

The Get-Shit-Done lunch

As long as you’re in productivity mode anyway, why not use that momentum to cross some things off your to-do list or make progress towards your own goals?

Work on a Personal Project. Whether you’re writing a novel, trying to launch a side business or making a scrapbook of photos of your awesome dog Sneakers, getting something done for you can make you feel productive and put you in a better mood.

Run errands. Hate wasting your evenings and weekends on errands? Why not use your break to get some of them out of the way? Run to the bank, pick up your dry cleaning, buy some groceries. Then kick back and actually enjoy your free time after work hours.

Make some extra $$. Take online surveys, find small tasks on Amazon’s mTurk, do some freelancing. Every little bit helps.

Learn something new. A language, a hobby, whatever interests you. It might actually be easier to finally sit down and focus on it when you’ve got a set time limit and no other distractions.

Work on getting out — of your job, that is. This can be a tricky one, but it’s doable if you’re discrete. Update your resume, do some job-searching, schedule (or attend) interviews. Disclaimer: Be careful. Only you know how closely your company monitors your activities. Job-searching on your smartphone and making calls from your car may be the best way to play it safe. This one is a risk, and best attempted only if you know you can safely get away with it.

How do you prefer to spend your lunch break? Are you an R&R type, or do you like to Get Shit Done? What suggestions do you have using your break for all it’s worth?

Kelly Gurnett, a.k.a. “Cordelia,” runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

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The post What are YOU Doing for Lunch? appeared first on Brazen Life.

Maybe your current job is just a placeholder while you figure out what you really want to do. Maybe it looked good on paper, but now that you’ve got into it, you realize it isn’t for you. Maybe you’re planning your escape, but for now, you need something to pay the bills [raises hand here]. Whatever the case, you are where you are, so for now, you have to figure out how to deal with that.

So, how do you deal with that? There are two simple options: A) Show up, put in your time, do the minimum, and collect your paycheck; or, B) Rock it like it’s hot.

Me? I’m an advocate of Option B. Here’s why:

Why Bother?

If you know this job isn’t for you, if you’re out the door the instant it become feasible, why care how much effort you put into it? What does it really matter?

It’s a heck of a lot of time. Most of us spend around 40 hours of our lives every week at work. That’s an awful lot of time to be disgruntled and miserable. You owe it to yourself to make the best of your circumstances, if for nothing else than your own sanity.

Being half-assed never made anyone happy. After a while, being mediocre doesn’t do anything to increase your self-confidence, your self-image, or your day to day happiness. Most of us want to do things well. Being a half-assed version of yourself only makes your situation feel worse. Why not rise above and at least be happy in yourself, if you can’t be happy in your situation?

Everything is a learning opportunity. Sure, making the coffee may never lead to a corner office, but even the most mundane of jobs is an opportunity to build your skill set. My crappy phone survey job in high school taught me people skills (and patience) that I use constantly now to handle touchy clients and diffuse stressful situations. Rather than seeing your job as merely a series of tasks you have to do get your paycheck, look at it as a chance to get some practice in for bigger and better things. See what you can get from it. Use it for all it’s worth.

The best “F you!” is a cheerful attitude. If none of the positive angles above does it for you, and you’re still itching to stick it to The Man, consider this: the best way to stick it to The Man is to refuse to let him get you down. Resenting your job and grumbling your way through the day just gives your job power over you. Don’t let it. Determine to be happy, upbeat, and optimistic, and you’re already one step closer to freeing yourself.

Okay, so that’s the case for the why. Now let’s get to the how.

5 Ways to Rock That Crappy Job

Let go of resentment. Let go right now of the better job you could be at, the way you wish your boss would treat you, the hundred better things you should be doing with your time. You are where you are. So, what are you going to do with it?

Be the best little worker you can be. Collate those copies like it’s an Olympic sport. Make your Power Point presentation the snazziest anyone’s ever seen. Not to impress anyone, not because your job is “worth it,” but for you. Because you deserve to be your best self. You deserve to take pride in your work, even if the job itself is less than ideal.

Find satisfaction in doing a good job. I’ve started to cultivate an almost Zen-like attitude towards the simple act of doing things well, and finding satisfaction in that. My job may not have much personal meaning to me, but I do get satisfaction from knowing at the end of each day that I’ve done everything to the best of my ability. I like getting my work done faster than people expected. I like turning a pile of rampant paperwork into neat, orderly files. It’s not the deep, soul-fulfilling satisfaction I hope to one get from my dream job, but it’s something. It makes me feel like my days aren’t entirely wasted.

Be a ray of sunshine. So many workplaces are dens of negativity and defeatism. People have meltdowns over copier jams. Office politics breed resentment and gossip. A common answer to “How was your weekend“ is an Eeyore-like “Not long enough…” Rise above all that. Come in with a smile on your face, be genuinely nice to your coworkers, and radiate the sense that the world isn’t such a dreary place after all. You’d be amazed how much better your day feels when your attitude doesn’t suck. And if you can make some of the people around you a little happier, too, then that’s bonus points for you.

Have a life outside of work. You may be stuck doing a job you don’t love, but your free hours are still your own. And the more you really make those hours yours, the easier it is to get through another day at the office. Start a hobby, join a club, pursue a dream on your evenings and weekends, and suddenly the hours spent at work don’t seem so be-all and end-all. You have something to look forward to at the end of the day. You have something that gives you a sense of meaning and purpose. Maybe your hobby could even lead to that bigger, better job that you’re waiting for. Don’t let yourself fall into the routine of slumping home to watch TV till bedtime. That’s what so many people do with their unhappiness at work, and that’s why so many people are still stuck. You’re better than that. And you know it.

If you’re one of us currently in less-than-perfect jobs, what tips or tricks do you have for approaching your work day? How do you rise above your circumstances and make the most of things?

Kelly Gurnett, a.k.a. “Cordelia,” runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do.  You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

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The post How to Be an Awesome Employee In a Less-Than-Awesome Job appeared first on Brazen Life.