I snowboard because it brings me joy. It removes all fears, anxieties and worries
I have of the past and future and puts me directly in the present moment. There’s
no other feeling in the world, that I’ve experienced and like so much, than the
one of carving through a powdery slope with the sole intention to just enjoy
the moment. It brings me peace, clarity and euphoria. I love being in the
mountains as well. The fresh air, the gorgeous view, the unexplainable beauty
of everything that surrounds me.

What do you bring to the table that no one else does?

I have a deep seated root in taking interest in other people’s lives. I’m happy, so everyone else should be happy too. This here is where my strong social skills actually originate from: a deep sincerity for the well-being of others. I hold an average understanding of social psychology and I’m fairly good at reading people. I hold a solid frame of my own reality that I find others often fall into.

What would you love to contribute to the world?

In a word, joy. If I could make everyone feel as happy as I do when I’m snowboarding there probably wouldn’t be a single war on the face of the planet. Everyone would be just too God damn happy. There wouldn’t be any greed, jealousy, anger, resentment, regrets, or negativity of any kind. People would be in the moment, giddy to be alive, Zen. I want to make the world a better place by allowing people to fully appreciate what they really have.

As I have always said, doing what you love is a luxury for those who can afford it.

https://www.jacobinmag.com/2014/01/in-the-name-of-love/

There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.

Nelson Mandela

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/passion.html#3vIGVvxH0HtTrJ22.99
There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.

Nelson Mandela

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/passion.html#3vIGVvxH0HtTrJ22.99

Once the passion is discovered, of course effort, responsibility, and accountability all come into play.

I believe in Steve Jobs’ philosophy > don’t be what the world tells you to be…be YOU! Follow your dreams. Be creative.

In other countries that simply doesnt exist.

When i first started working in my real passion (digital animation) i thought that the quote “if you do what you love you’ll never work a day in your life” was totally applied to me, but i was wrong. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that it wasn’t my passion, because it was!!. The real problem was that i was a 8-5 employee and the sleep – eat – work – sleep routine was killing me.

If you do your passion because you love it is great, but the problem with being an employee in your passion is that you have to do it even when you don’t feel like doing it. Sometimes you just want to lay down on bed all day long and do nothing, sometimes you don’t even want SEX!!, so for me a real definition of passion would be something you love to do, but you only have to do it when you want, that kind of freedom is what i want.

Don’t give up in your dreams mates, follow them but think carefully on how to do it.

Ruben. Site: http://www.swissbrandsmojo.com/

I would try to help connect her to services, assistance, therapy, career counseling, life coaching, and a support group of people lift her up and nurture her to OVERCOME – not lose sight of her gifts.

There is no wand to be waived and the individual must be committed to overcoming, growing, learning, and persevering – no matter if the person has a wealth of resources or not…it’s about resourcefulness. Will. Belief.

All you have done is trumpeted her tragedies. Is there nothing in her life she is grateful for?

You can learn more about me here: http://www.michaelbarata.com

So you can see more in her potential than I can, right? So what potential do you see that would allow her to “follow her bliss” and “open herself to abundance” that isn’t tied to a winning lottery ticket?
Positives? The only thing she has to hang on to, is the fact all 6 kids are grown and on their own. Two are on the opposite coast, and the rest are international, in Thailand, Peru, South Africa, and Germany. She gets a Christmas card from each of them every other year, but hasn’t seen any of them for over 17 years. It’s as if they were so embarrassed on how they were raised and how they grew up, that they couldn’t get away far enough soon enough. No matter. She believes they’re doing well, and I don’t know any of them, so I can’t say for sure.
I asked her your question on what she wanted and needed. She promptly replied, “To be 17 again, with a uncrippled, pain free body”. “If not that, how about the $450,000 in back child support her ex-husband owes me?” Not anything anyone can do about that, is there?
Since us “sheople” can’t give her what she wants or needs, we do our best to help out with what we can, without being vacuously “positive” (“Don’t say that! I’ve gotten my fill of that “positive” BS in the 80s!”)
It is what it is. Trying to spin it as anything other than the tragedy and heartache that it is, disrespects and denigrates her hard work, sacrifice, and tenacity. Any talk about “following her bliss” and “opening herself to abundance” just sounds so insulting to her, because everything she’s seen and experienced, has told her that those concepts are nothing more than, as she puts it, “the feel-good fantasies of elitist well-off talking heads who never had to deal with real life starting off with nothing from Mommy and Daddy and struggling day to day just to survive when the world is trying its best to kill you and your children in the slowest, most humiliating and painful way possible.”

Do you want me to call her life horrific, a failure and that she has no reason to live? I’m sorry. I can’t.

I would ask her what SHE wants or needs and try to help in any way I could. And yes, this would include focusing on the good she has in her life, like life itself and the relationships with her children and others and her interests, skills, talents.

That is why I believe in the beauty of possibility. I believe I see more in her (potential) than you do. I hope she sees more in herself than you do. I would not focus on what has happened (cause its in the past, its over, can’t change it) and not fearing or predicting the future (only a concept) nor would I only dwell on the tragedies and challenges of her life as she must have had some positives SHE would speak to.

I am not a therapist or a counselor, but as a friend, I would try to help her realize she can make a difference.

Maybe not an astronaut….maybe work at NASA, maybe at a museum, maybe teach in the field, maybe write a blog about her story and interest, maybe? I believe real options exist, should she be interested…she may not be and I respect that.

I believe in the beauty of possibility…

Why no education
after high school? Mainly because she was kicked out at 16 and finished
her GED while living on the streets. Why start a family? Because her husband at
the time repeatedly sabotaged her birth control methods and raped her when she
refused sex when she was fertile. He was protected by the blue code of
silence, so nothing ever happened to him concerning her. Who wouldn’t be burdened and overwhelmed being the sole
caretaker of two infants, and 4 older children from his previous marriages? She
finally manages to divorce him, and is awarded sole custody of all 6 children
and an appropriate amount of child support. Upon leaving the court house, he boarded a
plane to Bermuda, where US law can’t touch him, and remains there to this day.

So here she is,
alone, with only a GED education, no money, no home. What is she supposed to do
with 6 hungry children? So she gets 3 jobs, works up to 19 hours a day, at
minimum wage, and fights to keep her family intact, safe, healthy, secure,
housed, fed and clothed. She does this for 20 years. She sacrifices almost
everything, her health, her food, her “bliss” for her kids. What mother wouldn’t,
if they had to?

What was the passion
and bliss that she wanted to follow? She wanted to be an astronaut. Kind of
hard to get the education and experience necessary to go into space when you
don’t know if you’ll have a place to live next week, if the kids will have
anything for dinner tonight, or is CPS is going to swoop in to snatch the kids
and imprison her for child neglect. Riding the shuttle at that point is a
pointless fantasy, without any basis in reality.

The kids are
grown and gone to their lives now, but she’s been crippled by the injuries she’s
suffered while working, the health issues she’s neglected so her kids could get
care, and the beatings she suffered from her ex-husband. She has a place to
live, and a fixed income, but with only enough left over to afford McDonald’s once
a week. Her wheelchair is being fixed, because she can’t afford a new one. So
she’s housebound and only has contact with the outside world when people come
over.

She’s exhausted
and cynical, having been on the receiving end of the worst of humanity for
decades. She says that I, my wife and family have been the only bright spot in
her life for the past 12 years. I’ve tried to encourage her to go back to
school, but she’s pointed out that she’ll never go to space, and it’s a waste
for someone who is likely to die in the near future. So how does she “open
herself to abundance”, when she’s seen so little of it in her life? How does
she “follow her bliss” when she can’t even follow her cat around her apartment?
What is there in life for her left?

I have never seen
anyone who fought so long and so hard against everything in her life to raise,
protect and care for their children. I pray you never have to sacrifice
yourself so totally for your children.

I often wonder if the idea of truly connecting with oneself, discovering your unique gifts, and following your bliss with all your everything were to be introduced and nurtured early and often if people would make different decisions compared to the continued message of “get an education, get a job” mantra? As you characterized, bliss can be many different things to people. And being open to abundance is having a positive, grateful, welcoming mindset – a good thing, I believe.

And much like one of the problems with Maslow’s pyramid, it is difficult for one to self-actualize when uncertain about meeting basic needs such as food and housing. So, I empathize with your friend. I also believe your friend has a bliss to follow and the ability to be awesome at it. But only SHE can define what that is and make it happen.

Herein lies the issue, which I believe to be our biggest disconnect. Correct me if I’m wrong, but it seems you believe a person’s circumstances can hinder or preclude some from following their bliss. Whereas, I believe people don’t make enough time, effort to discover their bliss earlier in their life. For that reason, it may take longer or not happen at all. However, the decision is there to be made – just as other decisions are made in one’s life which carry circumstances (celebratory or challenging).

So, I see much value for a person’s life and benefit for others around them should they truly (no matter how challenging) commit to discover and follow their bliss, because it’s their bliss.

Journey on…

On kids & dreams. Yes, partly fear and dreams. Partly resources and lack of affordable pportunities outside of overpriced colleges. Fortunately some alternatives are popping up for younger ones, like charter schools, but finding balanced opportunities (ones that integrate arts and social-emotional growth) are hard to come by for the average family. Parents yes can influence creativity and self reflection but how many know how? (This is where a creative leader, researcher, program developer, blogger, etc, can help over time.

For young adults I would like to see more apprenticeships and ways they can develop healthy, creative, meaningful, and reasonably secure lives that make a positive contribution.

Can’t ignore however that those who truly have been ignoring responsibilities to themselves, others, and the planet have been creating some pretty stifling consequences for the rest. Yes you can become a great adaptor, hardy, and work with what you got, but the amount of stress and obstacles can be overwhelming on people, society…the earth. We are literally changing genetics (epigenetics) all the time. If you are the parent of an extreme autistic, a spouse deployed, restrictive financials, and an unsupportive school system, you can make the most of it and find meaning in it, but ultimately it’s exhausting. More and more people are dealing with these types of epigenetic consequences today.

Those of us who don’t have those issues but recognize them have a huge responsibility to affect the world in a positive way so more have the opportunity to enjoy a creative, contented, sometimes joyful life. From helping our children to grow well and be compassionate, to helping neighbors, to smart-activism, new systems for healthy societies, etc. It is simple in some ways (and for some people) but this conversation can also become quite complex, requiring extraordinary connection of hearts + intellect.

I am bias about the belief people can either spend [real] time discovering who they are and pursue those gifts or allow others to do that for them. Conditioning and fear tend to create barriers for people to understand and recognize they are not here to do what was done.

We tell children to follow their dreams all the time. I ask, why do we do that if we don’t mean it.

Sorry, I know I’ve moved beyond the scope of your article a bit. I agree with all you’ve said, just additionally carving out a space for these more rare individualists.

Bias – such a powerful force we should be mindful of…

I do think however there are special places reserved for those who are called with every neuron in their body, to be creators. Their temperament and intelligence insist on their artistic goals, whether their creativity is in performing or visual arts or to be a masterful business executive. However, I believe these are the smaller percentages of people (personality types + intelligence + nurture + other nature influences).

This does not take away from the majority, who have their own gifts and also contribute in a multitude of ways to society. I think culture often seeks and overemphasizes the artistists and leaders however. Fame seems desireable, but the wise know better — that all types are valuable and if we didn’t have those filling the many roles in the pillars of society, where would we be? We need the more xtreme artists for our souls, dreaming big, innovating, AND all the rest to
do their important work and keep relationships strong. We learn from each other and keep us all in balance, taking influence from each other.

The problems arise when we abandon ship too quickly on responsibilities, believing life should be all-bliss-all-the-time. Hardships happen, sometimes extreme ones. And sometimes making a shift takes time and we don’t want to hurt people unnecessarily. And sometimes we realize that what we have is much better than we realized, with some simple mental shifts. The possibilities for joy, satisfaction, and meaning are endless (we all have creative potential) and sometimes come in the form of some very small yet powerful aspects of life.
MdlGrnd

Everything I’m trying to speak to seems to be not getting through…the trials and tribulations of life are real and different for everyone. It’s how we respond to them that makes the difference.

To it, I will say I agree.

I think that your statement, that “general contentment is a great place in life and often reflective of those who solve problems, work hard, and provide to others” is true.

Overall, I think that the point of my article is to draw these two groups – the “hard workers” and the “blissfuls” closer together. One can imagine the “blissfuls” writing the day away (as you say) and while that’s ok, it might not be the best thing because their life does impact other people and their ability or inability to earn is effected if they live in their bliss vacuum.

On the flip side, there are those who feel they must work hard, pay their dues, and disregard their feelings about the work they do, as if their feelings, passions, and inclinations are beside the point.

I think neither group has it right and instead the answer lies somewhere in the middle.

There have been many cries of “live your passion” plastered everywhere. And that falls too far in one direction, but as always, the answer is somewhere in between.

I do believe that circumstances (family needs, financials, long term outlook, health etc) and a realistic assessment of your skills (not just talent but also business acumen) should be considered if you are entering into a new business or if making a large career change. Why? It’s smart and responsible to do so because what you do impacts *other people*. I love the kindness movement and the related yoga and follow your bliss inclinations but I choose to draw from those as inspiration not OverRELY on those. Movements often are a reaction to stifling aspects of culture or misguided political activism and unfortunately can fall prey to extremism. The thoughtful answer to negative circumstance often lies in the middle and requires discipline, planning (yet flexibility), and can produce a beautiful contentment in life. Happy is a moment (although worthy, valuable). General contentment is a great place in life and often reflective of those who solve problems, work hard, and provide to others. Satisfaction comes not from thinking less of yourself but rather focusing on your self less.

If your circumstances are such that you can be more of a pure creative and not have as many pressures and this fits your personality well, why not if that’s what is written on your heart? If you are able to take care of yourself and those with whom you share life, Great. If this isn’t meant for you, that’s ok too. Or the day may come that it is.. or you may be able to work toward change. Just saying following your passions is the answer is not enough. It may sound great in a facebook post, the instagrams du jour, or a motivational lecture but not every life or circumstance looks the same. One may have heavy responsibilities as a biz leader and much pressure in today’s economy for instance but feel so rewarded by being fair, an employer, taking care of her family, successful in meeting customer needs while balancing books while another may want to spend time writing away the days and is able to do so. Both are OK.

Unfortunately I’ve seen too many problems (crime, even) go unresolved or created because some want to always be “positive” and “blissful” (which is a misleading notion because it is impossible to attain constant bliss. often what happens is passive aggression with those who try). We can be thoughtful, discerning, and serious, deriving meaning from responsibility to others, even grappling at times to solve issues that inevitably arise, AND having “happy.” It’s just that Larry and Sally’s contented lives can look very different from one another.

So, see we all have our pasts. We’ve enjoyed highs and endured lows. But its all in the past. Times have changed. You stated you did not believe your father was bitter, yet it seems like you may be. Of course, I could be wrong.

Doing what you love or following your passion is not a luxury, it’s a calling. You connect with yourself, discover your gifts, and share with the world. I see it as a statement of who you are v. who they told me to be. So, no matter what it is or how it looks, if you are doing something because you feel deeply connected to it, it reflects your authenticity, and brings you joy = BLISS.

I believe we both agree people can have as much abundance in their lives as they open themselves up to receive. But the notion if someone doesn’t have every little detail figured out they should not move forward, is very limiting. Life changes. The past is over and the future is but a concept….live in the now.

I ask my psych students every semester, if the world closed its eyes, would you continue to make the same decisions about your life? The overwhelming answer continues to be, “No!” Some are where they are because mommy and daddy told them, because society conditions them, because friends pressure them. I believe the more you conquer your fears and go after that burning in your heart, the more rewarding (feeling not material) life can be. Is the 9-5 for everyone? Is being an entrepreneur for everyone? I hope we both can agree, no. But that’s my point. We should encourage and lift people up to discover their own truth.

Another great quote from Joseph Campbell: “Don’t do what daddy says – because daddy only has one interest in mind for you and that is your security and if you bargain away your life for security now you will never find your bliss”

Also, here is a great TedTalk from Larry Smith. In it, he explains how people sometimes use human relationships (spouse, kin, children) as excuses for not pursuing one’s dreams > Why You Will Fail To Have A Great Career: http://www.ted.com/talks/larry_smith_why_you_will_fail_to_have_a_great_career.html

PS I truly enjoy and am grateful for you e-chatting with me.

Following your passion doesn’t necessarily mean becoming an entrepreneur either. Like the high school teacher who wants to work in graphic arts (not start their own biz, but be in the field). Or the customer service rep who yearns to be an accountant.

I believe following your bliss can be achieved many ways.